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OPINION

The Frequent Bomber Program

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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Dear Bill (Ayers):

I try not to use the word “jackass” too often. Whenever I start writing about you, however, that word just seems to fit into every sentence – sort of like Selah fits into a Davidic Psalm. In fact, found myself using a little profanity when I heard about your recent remarks at an occupy Wall Street gathering in New York City. Here they are in their unedited stupidity:

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“We are living in a militarized society. That, that, it's clear what the message is from power. The message is that Occupy represents violence, and marginalization and insanity, when in reality it's the 1% that represents violence, and insanity and militarism. We've got a militarized society and it’s become so common sense that, getting on the airplane coming out here, the first thing they said was ‘let all the, let all the, you know, uniformed military get on first’ and ‘thank you for your service.’ And I say as I always do: let's let the teachers and nurses get on first and thank them for their service. I mean, why is it that everything military has got to be good and everything that has to do with actual work, real work, not jobs, real work for people, that stuff gets discouraged and marginalized?"

Let’s be clear about something, Bill. You’re a tenured professor and that means you are the last person in the world to be lecturing anyone about real work. Tenure operates like socialism. There is no penalty for underperformance. There is only the reward of continued employment. That means you can say stupid things with regularity and never have to worry about occupying Wall Street with the chronically unemployed. You can just fly in, say a few stupid things in front of a fawning press, catch a Broadway show that evening, and head back to campus whenever you feel like it.

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Teaching education does not really qualify as real work. Unlike military service, teaching education classes does not usually involve having people shoot at you. In fact, it would never happen if liberal educators were familiar with the research showing that concealed weapons permits reduce crime and should therefore be valid on campuses. Of course, most tenured educators don’t know this because they do not keep up with research after they get tenure.

Tenure also means that other radicals can hire you to fly in to speak at other universities for thousands of dollars per hour. And they cannot be fired for wasting taxpayer money on speeches by self-proclaimed domestic terrorists. Nor does it matter if the self-proclaimed domestic terrorists are incompetent and conspire with terrorists who sometimes blow up their own friends because they do not know how to properly assemble a pipe bomb.

I understand, of course, that your brothers and sisters in the Weather Underground never really meant to blow up their friends. They really meant to blow up their enemies. This is largely because they could not achieve significant political influence otherwise. No one really wants to follow the kind of people with whom you associated in your prime. Your crowd has always hovered about a half a step above Charles Manson. And your crowd is only slightly better groomed.

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It should be self-evident that no one really deserves to follow you when you board a plane in an American airport. It makes good sense that you should board dead last. Nonetheless, you seem to question why our military are allowed to board before teachers like you board. The answer is simple, Bill. But, fearing you may still miss the point, I’ll print it in big, bold letters:

Soldiers bomb our foreign enemies. You, on the other hand, bomb your fellow citizens. And the teaching profession still defends you and embraces you.

I hope this helps you better understand the situation. Jackass!

Sincerely,

Mike S. Adams

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