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How to Win Friends and Manipulate Hypocrites

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.

Author’s Note: Jane Doe is an English Professor and Pogrom (spelling intentional) Advisor of the LGBTQIA Office at a university we will call The University of No Civility Whatsoever (UNCW). Her name has been changed to protect her from the consequences of her own poor decisions.

Dear Jane Doe: I am interested to know how the speech "Gay, lesbian, and queer individuals with a Christian upbringing: Exploring the process of resolving conflict between sexual identity and religious beliefs" will handle such an obvious conflict between Christianity and homosexuality.

On [sic] must either a) turn away from the sin of homosexuality or b) commit the additional sin of altering the scriptures to justify one's own sinful conduct.

Which alternative will your speaker recommend?

Mike Adams

Mike: If you are so interested, pay the fee and attend the conference.

Jane Doe

Jane, I will be in Manitou Springs, Colorado - 1799 miles from here - so I will not be able to attend. Would you please consider answering my question? I really am interested in knowing which way your speaker will choose to tackle the issue.



No, I will not answer your question. The last time I sent you email, you, showing a complete lack of ethics, published it in a public forum without stating your intentions to do so. As a result, I have no interest in answering any of your questions. I stand behind everything that I wrote, however I don't appreciate your unethical behavior. I am not sure why I expected that you would act in any other way. However, feel free to return from your retreat, 1799 miles from here, and listen for yourself.

All I have to say is:

"People pay for what they do, and still more, for what they have allowed themselves to become. And they pay for it simply: by the lives they live."-James Baldwin.

Jane Doe

p.s.-I caught a typo in your email-"On must either a) turn away from the sin of homosexuality or b) commit the additional sin of altering the scriptures to justify one's own sinful conduct." I guess you cannot spell either, or perhaps we both made simple typos.

Jane, I would like to request that the UNCW LGBTQIA Office extend an invitation to Mike Haley, a former homosexual, to come give a speech at UNCW. Mike would be able to provide some balance to what your center intends to do; namely to lead people into a lifestyle that is bad for their physical and emotional well-being.

Will you consider hosting Mike or will you only host people who are going to promote homosexuality?

I am not a follower of James Baldwin but I do believe it is unethical to withhold information, which could lead people out of the trap of homosexuality that ruins so many promising young lives.



I think you provide enough of [sic] type of "balance" you seek. If you would like for Mike Haley to come, feel free to invite and sponsor him.

And I am not withholding information, anybody who wishes to attend the conference and hear the lecture is welcome to. I am simply deciding not to speak for Dr.Denise L. Levy. I try to make a habit of letting others speak for themselves.

Color me shocked that you don't know much Baldwin. I will leave you with a bit more Baldwin, "Everybody's journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality."

Jane Doe

Just to clarify, Jane: You are refusing to host or sponsor a speech by Mike Haley because you believe we have enough ideological balance on the issue of homosexuality here at UNCW.

Please respond in writing.

You are a public official speaking in an official capacity on an issue you raised in front of several hundred public employees using a public computer and a public email address. Your responses are public records under North Carolina law - Baldwinian ethics aside.



"There are few things more dreadful than dealing with a man who knows he is going under, in his own eyes, and in the eyes of others. Nothing can help that man."-James Baldwin.

I did not say yes or no to Mike Haley. I don't know the man other than what you say about him, and I take all you say with a large grain of salt. You are a professor with tenure (if not with promotion) so you have the right to bring people to campus, you just won't. I am simply saying, since you know so much about him, and you find what he has to say of value, then you feel free to invite him to campus. If his ideas inspire you, you invite him, you sponsor his talk and you publicize his event. Instead of hiding in a little blogging world and railing against UNCW in a cocoon in which everybody agrees with you, bring Haley to campus and stand behind his ideas.

Also, I didn't say using my email in your blogs violated North Carolina law. I simply said that conducting an email exchange with someone, knowing you will post it in a public forum, and not letting them know your plans, is unethical.-Adamsian ethics aside.

Jane Doe

Jane, I think James Baldwin is right. There are few things more dreadful than dealing with a man who knows he is going down.

Jane, you have simply lied when you have stated that you know don't know Mike Haley other than what I say about him. Previously, you claimed a familiarity with my oeuvre and I have discussed Mike in a previous column – specifically in the context of the efforts of gay students at Hastings College to keep Mike from coming to their campus.

During one of the three speeches I personally organized at UNCW in 2008, I exposed a series of emails that showed the university had lied about claiming to lose email requests I sent to them to help publicize the event “I Don’t Have Enough Faith to be an Atheist” by Frank Turek.

After I exposed the lies of the university I brought Dr. Turek back for another speech. This time the university cooperated with us. My tactic of exposing lying public officials in order to expand the marketplace of ideas is very effective. That is why my columns are the height of ethical discourse. If you deny it you are lying (or, I should say, lying again). If you really were familiar with my body of work you would not continually play right into my hands oeuvre and oeuvre again.

I’ve never blogged before. But if I ever do start a blog it would be dedicated to you, Jane Doe. You make my job of exposing the cattiness, narrow-mindedness, and haughtiness of academic hypocrites very easy.

Thanks for the endless supply of material. I’ll talk to you again next week.

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