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God and Losing a Child

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of

Losing a child is the worst thing anyone can imagine.  Already I know nothing will ever be the same.

A month ago, my wife and I lost one.  She was the twin sister of our son.  He had been adopted last year and we were in the process of bringing her here this Christmas. We knew her very well.  She stayed with us during the initial hosting period over a year ago and we remained in regular contact.  My wife and I felt sure her coming here was God’s will.  When we first were married, my wife and I decided that if we ever had a little girl we would name her a certain name.  When we picked her and her brother from photographs for hosting, we had no idea she had the exact name we had said we would name our daughter.  Our time together was incredible, and we looked forward to our future together as a family.

But in this last month our world has been turned upside down with her death.  When I saw parents who lost their children, I never fully understood but now I have a strong idea of it.  This is not a fun club to be in.

Often my family has thought of God and wondered if He understands how we feel.  The answer is an emphatic yes.  It is yes because God lost a child too.

He lost Jesus for me, my wife, our son, our little girl, and for you.  Why did He pick Jesus to sacrifice himself and die for our sins?After all, God is God.  He could have shown his love in any number of ways. He could have sacrificed a cow, told us to worship a statue, or something else. Even if a person was to be sacrificed to show his love God could have picked an earthly king, or a distant relative if he had one.  Somebody, anybody, but His own son. 

One of the reasons God chose Jesus, His son, to die for us is because there is no other pain like losing a child.  God himself was willing to give up his most prized possession, and experience the greatest of pains, because He loved us so.  He, through Jesus, demonstrated his love for us.  How far did He and Jesus go?  All the way, to the point of death. 

Many of us would sacrifice ourselves for those in our family.  Yet God sacrificed His only family member, and a child at that, for those who were separated from Him and whom he knew were going to kill him and for those who would accept, or continually reject Him through the generations.Imagine that, He gave himself His only relative and only son for those who cursed him and, in doing so, adopted a bunch of sinners into his family. 

I am sorry for God that it had to be that way, but I am also eternally thankful.  I am thankful because He knows exactly how we feel.

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