Hearing disturbingly feminine, Somali corruption-curious Minnesota governor Tim Walz complaining that, because of Donald Trump, people are driving by his house shouting “Retard!” should’ve been the funniest thing that happened over the last few news cycles, but our European friends have done it one better. Actually, they’re not our friends. They’re annoying layabouts who do nothing but whine and complain as they feed off the corpse of the civilization they inherited like cultural trust fund babies. They have gotten very upset because Donald Trump’s national security strategy accurately recognizes that Europe is unable to defend itself and is increasingly unworthy of us squandering more time, blood, and treasure to do it for them. So, they’re lashing out, threatening to be responsible for their own defense.
Yeah, that’ll show us. Throw us in that briar patch, Horst. There aren’t enough “LOLs” on the Internet for how funny it is to see you stomping your feet because we’re done picking up the check.
This is personal to me because I’ve spent a substantial part of my life doing the jobs that Europeans would not do. From November 1988 to April 1991, with a multi-month tangent to the Persian Gulf War, I was part of NATO in what was then West Germany. It's always great to have people tell me how important NATO is when I was part of it, and they weren’t, but let’s put that aside. I was there at the end of the Cold War. We were still doing things like having REFORGER exercises and going out on alerts at 3 a.m., where we would shiver in our assembly areas knowing that if the balloon really went up, our role was to die in place so the locals could continue to consume strudel and bitch about Ronald Reagan. Then, for a year between 2004 and 2006, I left Irina with a little kid and went to Kosovo to keep those Europeans from killing each other. I got a non-Article 5 NATO medal out of that. None of this makes me some sort of hero – in Germany, I ran a heavily armed car wash, and in Kosovo, I largely shared my legal and business experience with the locals. But I was away from America and my family, cleaning up Europe’s messes for the Europeans. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect a little gratitude for my time – and the time of millions of other Americans.
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Spoiler: There’s never going to be any gratitude. There can't be. The fact that we uncouth hicks from the New World had to come back to unscrew the mess the Europeans have made of Europe was never going to get us anything like a simple danke schön. That they needed us grated on them then, and it grates at them now that big, loud Yankees were the only thing keeping their sorry butts from chaos. The eurotrash always imagine themselves as the pinnacle of human achievement, though it was really their ancestors who did the civilizational heavy lifting. These sorry sons of greater fathers look at the castles and cathedrals, the culture and the art, and imagine they had something to do with it other than receiving it on a silver platter and promptly turning it over to the horde of seventh-century savages they invited into their country to do all the dirty work that they imagine they themselves are too good for and to pay into the welfare state in place of the babies they were unable to make because of their cultural and physical impotence.
You know that parable about the servants the master gives coins and one of them goes and makes multiples in profit, and he gets praise (Matthew 25:14-30)? Another makes a little less, but he also gets praise. The third buries his talents because he doesn’t want to lose any, and he loses even that in the end. The Europeans have managed to do even worse. They didn’t even preserve what they were given. Instead, they spent their cultural bounty on the equivalent of hookers and blow, and now some imam with five wives and a scimitar is living next door while the call to prayer keeps the euroweenies up at night.
But don’t tell the Europeans that. They don’t want to hear it. In fact, they don’t want to hear anything. That’s why they’re trying to sue Elon Musk and X out of existence with EU fines over transparent nonsense. They’re not mad because his blue checks aren’t sufficiently blue-check-worthy. They are mad because Elon Musk allows their citizens to see and say forbidden things, things they can’t control, and they understand that the only way they can retain power is by limiting debate to a narrow range of views that reaffirms their authority and confirms their own power. The idea that these tin-pot goofs imagine that they get to dictate free speech to Americans is hilarious. Several American officials, including JD Vance and Marco Rubio, have weighed in, warning them that they’re getting a little too big for their lederhosen. But the fact is, censorship and political oppression are becoming part and parcel of Europe once again. You can get arrested for saying things, as primitive and unspeakably horrible as that is. The European junta feels perfectly entitled to ban even the largest plurality parties because those parties won’t genuflect at the altar of the approved globalist catechism. Part of the justification for defending Europe was that we were protecting like-minded allies and their freedom from hideous dictators who, among other things, limited free speech and banned dissenting political opponents. You can see the problem.
In fairness, there are still some good things about Europe. It's cute, sort of a Disneyland for people who like cathedrals and cafés. I’m not saying I was miserable the whole time I was stationed in Germany. I liked the beer, the lack of speed limits on the Autobahn, and being able to take a weekend up in Amsterdam – just remember that the safe word is "Flüggåәnkб€čhiœßølįên."
It’s nice to go back to Europe and visit. I liked Portugal earlier this year – very good wine and surprisingly based people. There are a lot of cool Europeans. They’re just overshadowed by the fascist bureaucrats who rule over them and the vast number of Europeans who are ridiculous, pompous has-beens with a truly inexplicable amount of self-regard.
Now, they have taken to jumping on the Twitter machine, the online forum that they hope to someday control, informing us that they’re very mad and that, in light of Donald Trump breaking with the nearly 80-year-long tradition of America pulling Europe’s weight, the Europeans are going to show us what for by doing it themselves. The guys who can’t put together a tank battalion or a flotilla of ships on par with that of your basic Venezuelan drug cartel are going to create a military to pick up the slack for the United States because we’re an unreliable ally now. Good. We don’t want you to rely on us. We want you to rely on yourselves.
But that’s going to be a problem. It’s going to cost money, and you’ve been spending it on importing zillions of Third World barbarians and paying your own people not to work. It’s unclear where you’ll get the money to do all this rearming but go for it. Sincerely. We want you to. Of course, your own people don’t want to do it. The Germans can’t recruit anywhere near as many soldiers as they need, so they took the most basic step towards conscription, which was sending out a questionnaire, saying, “Fritz, could you be in der Bundeswehr if we needed you?” and the Teutonic teenagers chimped out. Why, defending their country is the job of Nebraskan farm boys and eager Appalachians, not the precious heirs of Arminius!
Vets like me and @CynicalPublius, along with a bunch of others who also served in the Cold War, in Europe, and/or with Europeans, are taking a special delight in watching our alleged allies squirm. They didn’t like us all that much then, and they don’t like us all that much now, but they love having Uncle Sucker forking out the cash and corpuscles to keep their Ponzi continent alive. A lot of you guys reading this feel the same – I was at Nelligan Kaserne in the VII Corps AO near Stuttgart, and if you pounded the same plätze, I don’t need to translate that (throw where you were assigned into the comments!). But those of us who helped protect the European ingrates over the years will understand that when they cry, we just shrug and say “macht nichts.”
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Editor’s Note: Thanks to President Trump and his administration’s bold leadership, we are respected on the world stage, and our enemies are being put on notice.
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