The piece of trash governor of New Mexico, whose stupid name I don’t care about and whose state is corrupt enough to put Old Mexico to shame, recently decreed, apparently for the children or something, that the Second Amendment no longer applies there because the criminals she won’t prosecute have created a “public health emergency.” The fact that a significant number of her citizens are barbarians who can’t help but murder one another is apparently justification to eliminate the rights of normal citizens. The question is “What can we do about it?” More specifically, the question is “Can we put this Chardonnay-swilling Democrat harridan in federal prison?”
Well, the Democrats sure think so, judging from the criminal cases they are pursuing against Republicans. And I say let’s take them up on it.
As you know, President Trump is being railroaded, I mean, being subjected to the fair and impartial processes of law, under our fair and impartial Department of Justice (sic), and aided by the fair and impartial FBI that is every bit the glorious organization of love and light and honor and integrity that you see on any of the 600 FBI–themed shows on CBS if you’re among those shut-ins who actually watches network TV. One of the election crimes Trump is charged with is that he allegedly conspired to violate a civil right of American citizens. What right, you ask? Well, a convoluted version of the right to vote, which apparently he conspired to interfere with by insisting that elections be honest, transparent, and unrigged. Now, no one else has ever been prosecuted for that. It’s a weird extension of the law that makes use of the Trump Exception. The Trump Exception is, of course, that handy-dandy excuse for doing whatever you want to do, including impaling established norms, in order to get Trump because Trump is pretty much Genghis Khan times Pol Pot times Hitler times Nickelback.
Now, this is a terrible thing, and we all know it’s a terrible thing, and the other side knows it’s a terrible thing, but the other side doesn’t care because all it has is a short-term fixation on defeating the guy who told them to go to hell. There are two ways you can look at this. You can look at this as a legal abortion that puts us about 50 steps closer to banana republic status, or you can look at it as a terrific opportunity to use the power of the law against our enemies in new and creative ways.
I say “Why not both?”
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Of course, there are some invertebrate Republicans out there who will tell you that we shouldn’t stoop to their level and oh well I never and pearl clutch clutch clutch, and we’re better than that. Well, I am willing to stoop to their level, I don’t wear pearls because I’m not a Republican sissy, and if I have to stoop to conquer, let’s get down.
Let’s charge this creep gov under 18 United States Code Sections 241 and 242. Section 241 is a generic statute that bars interfering with others’ rights. Section 242 is more focused on people do it under color of law. Each involves prison. I love diversity, so let’s charge her under both!
But we can’t charge her under anything right this minute because we don’t we don’t have the executive branch, which means we don’t have the Department of Justice (sic). I have heard rumor that we have the chance to take the White House back next year. Let’s just make sure we don’t nominate a guy to be our standard bearer who 53% of Americans hate and who even manages to provoke Iowans, the most inoffensive and gentle people this side of Tim Scott on Ambien, to boo and give him the middle finger.
And but now that I’ve gotten my column’s requisite jab at the what I consider the insanity of re-nominating the guy who hasn’t won since 2016, let’s get to the point. If we have a Republican Attorney General in 2025, the statute of limitation on these felonies that can stem from the New Mexican governor’s illegal power grab will have not yet expired. Game on. We need to charge her. We need to prosecute her. And we need to put her in prison.
Again, a couple years ago I would’ve said that we should let the political process remedy the situation, but I made my case against the New Rules and nobody listened to me. So, we’ve got the New Rules, and we need to jam them up the Dems so hard that they sing “Moon River.”
Now, will this succeed? Can a governor be prosecuted for knowingly and intentionally violating the civil rights of American citizens? Well, let’s see. By then, there should be some precedent involving our past, and perhaps future, president. If they really want to go down this road, maybe they’re not going to like what’s waiting at the end of the cul-de-sac. So, I say win the election and prosecute New Mexico’s governor. After all, if that’s the kind of country they want to have, let’s let them have it good and hard.
Follow Kurt on Twitter @KurtSchlichter. Get his non-fiction book We’ll Be Back: The Fall and Rise of America, as well as Inferno, the seventh book in the Kelly Turnbull People's Republic series of conservative action novels set in America after a notional national divorce. Novel number eight, Overlord, drops this fall!
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