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Everyone Be Sad Because Conservatives Are Mean to Jerks

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AP Photo/John Raoux

Remember that weird disinformation girl, the one who looked like your friend’s first wife and who thought that she should protect America from the threat of non-approved discourse and unlicensed narratives? She’s sort of back in the news because people treated this censorious shrew who presumed to decide what we can and cannot read like a censorious shrew who presumed to decide what we can and cannot read. Too bad.

And from the files of “Oh No, I Truly Regret The Dumb Norm-breaking I Did” comes “Let’s Indict Trump In NYC Over A Private Settlement Payment.” I eagerly await the end of the norm of not prosecuting political opponents over ridiculous charges. Gee, how could it go wrong for Democrats?

We Should Be Nicer To Those Who Would Enslave Us

It looks like Jim Jordan’s weaponization of the government committee is going to make that Nina Jankowicz chick, the former Executive Director of the Disinformation Governance Board of the United States, sit down and testify under oath about the dirty work she did for the fascist regime. And now she’s very sad about it. See, we were mean to her.

Here's the skinny for the TL;DR set – a bunch of Americans reacted negatively to her campaign to install herself as the arbiter of what we could read, say, and think. You ingrates. She was doing it for your own good. At 33, she has the wisdom, the insight, and the modern academia-honed moral clarity to guide you to being the best you that you can be. And the best you that you can be is an obedient, woke serf regurgitating precisely the commie narrative du jour.

People said mean things to her. People said mean things about her kid. I’m sure they also critiqued her drama geek weirdness, but if they did not they should have. And, of course, there were the “death threats.” Ho hum. I care exactly as much about the “death threats” these people supposedly got from my allies as they care about the real death threats I got and get from their allies.

The idea, of course and as always, is that we are supposed to feel ashamed of the avalanche of negativity she received, and that’s supposed to make us stop reacting negatively to a nanny state nightmare who wants to treat our civil rights like a Frisco hobo treats the sidewalk. Well, too bad. Tough it, toots. Lady, you were an active conspirator in an attempt to disenfranchise us, to silence us, to impose the will of your mediocre clique of petty fascists upon us. You merely getting told where to stuff your disinformation was getting off easy.


Go Ahead And Indict Trump – Thanks For The New Tool In Our Tool Box

The Manhattan DA seems to think it is a great idea to start indicting presidential candidates in a bold move that could never possibly end up being a giant, painful suppository inserted into the figurative orifice of every Democrat in the future. But, for some reason, they think that norms can be broken at will when it comes to the Bad Orange Man and things will magically go back to normal thereafter. We have three conservative Supreme Court justices because of norm-shattering of convenience, but they never learn.

Now, this is not even an actual crime. Trump did not shoot someone on 5th Avenue. Stay with me, because I am going to try to explain the theory of the crime using my nearly 30 years of legal experience. It won’t make sense, but that’s because it’s stupid. You are not just misunderstanding. You get it, and it is dumb.

The idea is that Trump had his company pay Michael Cohen $130,000 to pay Stormy Daniels to sign a non-disclosure agreement about their alleged fling. He denies a fling with Stormy – he got together with Playboy Playmates, which is a higher level of ladies who get naked for money than the discount doxie Daniels. Anyway, through the power of stupidity, this is somehow supposed to be a campaign finance violation. Yeah, that. Now, most of the breathless articles about how the walls are closing in do not mention this theory because it’s so stupid, but that’s the idea, and the corrupt prosecutors are hoping they can find 12 New York City leftists for the jury who will convict Trump of anything.

Normal people will see this and get mad. They will think, correctly, that there is a two-tier system of justice. That is because there is, but the good news is that it will not last. It cannot. The remaining norm against gleefully prosecuting your political opponents will be dead and buried the moment this indictment comes down. Remember, there can only be one rule in the long term – we’re not going to just sit and take this.

Now, who do you think has more to lose from uncuffing the prosecutors from taking on corrupt politicians? Sure, both parties are corrupt, but the Democrats do not even try to hide it. If Joe wasn’t so senile, and Hunter so high, they would be quaking at the precedent. 

Oh, and it might have the effect of knocking Trump out of the race. Yeah, these dimwits would take out the guy the rest of the Democrats are chomping at the bit to run against, the guy with a low vote ceiling who they think can only win if he draws another straight flush. Gosh, the next guy, Ron DeSantis, is not from NY or LA or SF or some other Soros city, and he’s not vulnerable to state charges. But he is smart and boy, does he carry a grudge.

Great work. You dummies are going to suffer and we are going to laugh at you.

Follow Kurt on Twitter @KurtSchlichter. Get Inferno, the seventh book in the Kelly Turnbull People's Republic series of conservative action novels set in America after a notional national divorce, as well as his non-fiction book We’ll Be Back: The Fall and Rise of America.

My super-secret email address is


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