Opinion

Is Senator John Cornyn on Drugs?

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Posted: Jun 24, 2022 12:01 AM
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Is Senator John Cornyn on Drugs?

Source: J. Scott Applewhite/ AP Photo

We need to know if Senator John Cornyn (R-WaPo) is high. Has he been doing bong hits, blasting rails, chasing the dragon, and/or dropping acid? Is he hopped up on goofballs?

I hope so, because that is the least-worst explanation for the clusterfark he just presided over this week in DC. After all, you can get off drugs, but the alternate explanations are permanent.

Here we stand on the verge of a huge red tsunami in November, and even once-thought impossible seats in places like Colorado and Washington state may be within reach because of the incredible incompetence of Grandpa Badfinger.  Everything is set for a massive repudiation of the left by an activated and angry GOP base – supplemented with independents who have had enough of this progressive bullSchiff – and John Cornyn and decides that what the Republican voters want is…

{drum roll}

Gun control!

Ta-da!

The Democrats are hemorrhaging and J-Corn decides to stop the bleeding? It’s like Bruce Willis reaching down and grabbing Hans Gruber’s hand so he doesn’t fall off of Nakatomi Plaza.

Dude, let them go splat!

Oh, and if that’s not enough, then there are reports that Cornyn, peacocking across the Senate floor as he enjoys his first and last moment in the national limelight, then tells a Dem colleague “Next, we’ll do immigration!”

I think what he and his 13 pals are doing is the base.

Yeah, fellow Republicans, let’s get out there and pass the agenda we’ve all been demanding – gun grabbing and amnesty!

So, I think maybe he is sniffing glue. Or, rather, I wish he were. Why else would this Republican senator collaborate with Chuck Schumer to make all the lib fantasies come true and give them a big win while they are on the eve of destruction?

Maybe he is just stupid? It’s not like there are no stupid senators. Mazie Hirono is famously dense. Edward Markey is practically a clinical moron. And former senator from MBNA Joe Biden is… well, Joe Biden.

Now, I know you are thinking “How could a former Texas Supreme Court justice be a half-wit.” We all know that no judge has ever been a dummy.

AAAAARRRGGHHHHHH.

Sorry, I am back. I had to rush out for an emergency consult with my ophthalmologist because my eyes literally just rolled 360 degrees. 

Anyway, foolishness is a possible explanation. But there are others. 

Perhaps he is a traitor. 

Perhaps he’s not just a RINO but an active and willing undercover agent of the Democrat Party. Nah, I don’t think so. To believe that John Cornyn believes in Democrat policies presumes that he believes in anything at all other than the power and the glory of John Cornyn.

And maybe that’s it. Cornyn famously wants to replace Mitch McConnell as Senate (well, we once assumed) Majority Leader when the Murder Turtle finally withdraws into his shell for good. This was his chance to get out of Cocaine Mitch’s shadow and do something all by himself. And what better than one of those bipartisan scams that the rubes back in the sticks love so much? Why, cue the favorable Washington Post write-up on how he had the courage to screw over the people who sent him to the Swamp!

He’s a statesman, damn it. And he single handedly brought us a great wonderful terrific deal in which we got nothing, but the Dems did not get everything they wanted.

Some deal. And some ego.

That’s what this is – an ego trip by a guy who had long been playing second fiddle to the Master of the Senate. Mitch gave the Fredo Corleone of the Senate something to do beside pick people up from the airport and … this is the result. Sure, there is a bunch of mental health stuff and some other things that are not insane in it, but why not pass those without a green light for every lib judge in America to strip cons of their rights based on the whining of libs. Is he really telling us that the justice system is going to protect our rights? After we’ve all seen a dual track justice system take root over the last decade? We conservatives understand that we are on the wrong side of the tracks.

So, with this great compromise, what did we get?

We got rolled and we got nothing in return.

Not national concealed carry reciprocity.

Not suppressor deregulation.

Not even a law stopping Grandpa Badfinger from preventing the Lake City ammo plant from selling 5.56mm rounds.

Hell, we didn’t even get a National Shotgun Day.

Nothing.

Sure, Mitch is standing by him, but what else is he going to do. ‘Fess up that he screwed up? He gave the keys to the Buick to Junior and the kid promptly wrapped it around a telephone pole. McConnell, no matter what you think of him, is a genius, but even geniuses mess up. There’s no way he’s going to draw attention to his mistake in investing reasonability in the guy who came back thrilled to have spent all his coins on magic beans.

But the media loves him, at least until he stops being useful.

I give it a week.

But if this guy is serious about trying to stretch his streak with “immigration reform,” Mitch McConnell better step in and regulate. If you think the uproar over the red flag nonsense was bad, watch the red wave collapse if the GOP squish caucus tries to conspire with the Democrats to push their new, improved, renamed amnesty scam on us. Then, if you think the GOP will retake the Senate in November, you really are on drugs.

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