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OPINION
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They Can All Kiss My A**

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Hey, everybody! Welcome to the latest "Stream of Kurtiousness!" This is Kurt Schlichter. I'm a little punchy now because I've just done Hugh Hewitt's radio show as guest host for five days in a row, which means I get up at 1 o'clock in the morning, I drive about an hour or so, I do the show, get off at 6 AM California time, I come back, and I dedicate myself to the law or, in this case, to the "Stream of Kurtiousness." "Everything for you, I do for you!" I don't think that's actually the song, but you get it. What is in the news? Oh my gosh, this has been the greatest week ever. My favorite thing is that we have found out that Joe Biden was an 18-wheel truck driver. Manning that Kenworth and cruising down that endless black ribbon. Has anyone thought to mention that he is absolutely senile? I mean, now he's a truck driver. Tomorrow he's going to be a frickin' performance artist. Or maybe just a regular artist like Hunter Biden, who's a spectacular painter, I hear. *Inhales* Oh, yeah!

Warning: Contains Strong, Explicit Language

Wow. No, this guy is a wreck. I have a lot of questions, and I don't know if somebody asked Jen Psaki, "Um, this whole 18-wheel, big rig thing. What the hell is up with that?" I wonder what she would say. "How dare you! It's transphobic that you point out that he's manifestly senile and pretending to be an 18-wheel rig truck driver!"

Have you noticed he's senile? I'm just saying! Senile AF. See, it's funny now, but it's not going to be funny when the Chinese sink the Pacific fleet because that's coming up. Yeah, 18 rig truck driver.

Oh, and then, of course, he's now "Mask Boy." The many faces of Joe Biden, the many facets of his insights. Let's review, shall we? First of all, it was, "You can't trust the vaccine because of the Donald Trump." And then the vaccine came out and suddenly it's like, "My vaccine! Donald Trump didn't create the vaccine. It's my vaccine. And you should take it! And the vaccine is great and wonderful and also wonderful and great and you should totally take it, and now you don't have to wear a mask, except you do have to wear a mask now, and I never said you didn't have to wear a mask except I did, and it's on videotape, but that doesn't matter because shut up, narrative, also you're a transphobe."

I can't even. They want me to run around with a mouth diaper. It's not going to happen anymore. I'm just not going to do it. Except I am going to have to do it because I have to go on an airplane in a little while because I am going to Texas, which is a free country. So there we are. Now we're going through this whole mask thing again and it's stupid and it's annoying and I'm really getting tired of it. People are not dying in huge waves. Some people are dying. People always die. Here's the thing. There's this thing called risk. And it's about managing risk. Except no one risks anything. It's "unsafe." Have you heard it's the "safety thing"? Safety is slavery, okay? That's how the CRT people justify their insanity, "It makes me feel unsafe when you point out that there are men and women and nothing else. I feel unsafe. You're denying my existence. I feel unsafe. It's actual violence. I'm literally shaking."

It's like a trump card. "It's unsafe!" Well, I guess I better frickin' stop... No! Everything is about risk management. It's about looking at the risks, and thinking, "Huh, should we do it or should we not?"

Now, if the vaccine is 99% effective, and a 150 million people have taken the vaccine, what's that mean? It means that 1.5 million people are not going to be protected. Am I adding that up correctly? Ninety-nine percent, yeah. So that's like a million people, and that's a lot of people in absolute terms. It's a rounding error in percentages. You have to understand that bad things are always going to happen to a certain extent.

Now, I don't want bad things to happen to me personally, but a certain percentage of the time they will. I took this stupid vaccine. And I took it because in consultation with conservative doctors it was right for me. I certainly wouldn't presume to tell you what's right for you.

Also, if you get COVID after you haven't taken the vaccine that's a risk, remember we're talking about risk, a risk you chose to take. So, I see it as your problem, and I don't see it as me being required to run around with a stupid mask in my mouth. 

The problem is, if you wanted to create a system that would maximize "vaccine hesitancy," you would do exactly what the idiots in our government have done. Now, I don't think it's vaccine hesitancy, I think it's a completely rational refusal to simply believe what these people say because these people have literally said everything. Now, people say, "Fauci's been wrong about everything!" That's not true. That's not true. Fauci has not been wrong about everything. He's actually been correct at one point. And I know that because he's literally taken every possible position – don't wear a mask, wear one mask, wear two masks, you don't have to wear a mask anymore, you definitely have to wear a mask now. He has covered all the bases. So at some point along that line, that malignant little tumor of a dwarf was correct. We're not sure which one; I think it was the first one, by the way. The one where masks mean nothing. "Yeah, I'm going to put some tissue paper in my face and it's like a magic totem that will protect me from the evil spirits." 

You're not engaging in medical prophylaxis. You're engaging in this bizarre superstitious virtue signaling thing where you're showing solidarity with the liberal agenda by putting a cloth around your mouth, which will literally do nothing. My favorite thing that kind of summed it up was Kamala Harris, who was sitting at a table and she's like 10 feet back from everybody with this mask on, and she's been vaccinated famously, and everyone around her has been vaccinated, and she's sitting there with a mask on saying, "We have to wear a mask because reasons." 

You stupid, stupid woman. People notice this sh**. People aren't like, "Huh, well that seems a little off, but I think I'll obey." Now, keep in mind I want the Democrats to do this. I want this mask bull**** to come back. I want lockdowns to come back. "Why do you want that, Kurt?" Because I want to crush them in 2022. I want to destroy the Democratic Party. I want to leave it a smoking ruin. I want to plow the fields with salt, and these guys are giving me the Mortons. You know, the little girl with the umbrella thing? You know what I mean, and the raincoat. It's kind of weird.

So, keep doing the stupid sh**. And I want you to double down on CRT. Of course, my favorite thing about CRT is it doesn't exist, it's also necessary and essential that we do it, all at the same time. Have you noticed that they don't even try not to lie to you? This is part of the accountability crisis among our elite.

The elite feels it doesn't have to be accountable and it feels it to the core of its soul. And why is that? Because we're inferior people who don't deserve an explanation. We should just accept what they say at any given time. They can never be held accountable by the likes of us. "Who are these peasants to tell me I'm wrong? I'm not wrong. I'm never wrong. I just have different views every single day." 

And Grandpa Badfinger, that crusty, old bastard, kind of said that. Peter Doocy, one of the only reporters there is in the White House, said, "Hey, you! You desiccated, old weirdo. Yeah, you. Didn't you tell us back in May that we didn't need to wear a mask anymore if we have been vaccinated?" And Crusty said, "Yeah, but that was then." Well, that kind of sums it up, doesn't it? "I told you something different, but that was in another time, and now that's not quite as useful for me, so how dare you bring it up. Next, you're going to be telling me there's only boys and girls and nothing else. What about two-spirits and non-binary otherkin?" 

Because you have to follow the science. I'd like to follow the science. I'd like to follow it back to its little science house and burn the little science house down because it ain't science, it's bull****. According to their science, men can become women by the power of wanting and the weather in 100 years is going to kill us. Actually, the weather in five years is going to kill us, except five years comes and suddenly it becomes five years in the future and no one ever goes, "You know, maybe we were wrong...No, we're not wrong. You're wrong. You're wrong for noticing. You're wrong for caring. You're wrong for not submitting." Call me wrong. I'm going to be wrong. I'm going to be wrong AF as the hip kids say. 

I mean, look. We have to stop this sh**. My Townhall column on Monday, which I have already sketched out, basically calls on the Republicans to say, "Hey, Nancy! Fight this! Yeah, I have something you can mask. I have a couple of things, they're right here." And just not, just walk in and dare her to do something – expel them, fine them (you can go to court on that, that'd be easy), refuse to allow them to be seated. Great! What do the Republicans have to lose being kicked out of the House of Representatives? Absolutely nothing they do matters. It's the House of Representatives. She has a bare majority. She has a majority of what? Like three? She can do whatever she wants as long as the Democrats go along. Now, the purple district guys have to be going, "Errr... Errr... Errr... Errr... $3.5 trillion to give more money to layabouts to be deadbeats? Errr... Errr... I don't want to run on that... What do you mean I have to support CRT? Errr... Errr..."

It's already bad enough for the Democrats. Let's make it worse. Kick all the Republicans out for refusing to wear masks. They can go back to their districts and campaign, and they can spend the next year and a half campaigning while the Democrats own everything here. I mean, they do own everything here. Let them be accountable. Let the Republicans go home. I don't care. It's fine with me. The only thing I want to know, the only thing I want to make sure of, is that our payback is brutal. That our vengeance is unparalleled. Look, right now I'm Harry Dean Stanton in "Red Dawn," yelling to Swayze and Sheen, "Avenge me! Avenge me!" I want them to pay. I want Kevin McCarthy to say, "Hey, you told some people what committee they can be on and what committee they can't..." Oh, by the way, let me talk about the teary-eyed Capitol Hill cops in a second. "You told me you could be on what committee, all you committee chairs in the Democrats, guys who worked for years to get that thing, and you'll be ranking minority leader, I'm going to kick you off the committees and you can go thank that bitter harpy about it. I'm just going to do it because I can because she changed the rules so these are new rules, and I'm going to insert them hard up your Ted Lieu."

As for the teary-eyed Capitol Hill cops, these donut-munching losers. "They were mean to me! Eeeeeeee!" Okay, you p******. You were in a minor fracas for about two hours during an afternoon. I was on the streets of the LA Riots, right? For three weeks! Where people were getting killed, and I just don't mean innocent trespassers shot by mystery cop. I mean, people really getting killed, sh** on fire, not a bunch of grandmas walking around taking selfies in the Rotunda. No, no, no, I was in the real thing. And you know what I did because I'm a f***in' man and not a big p****, I went back to my house when I got off duty, after, may I add, three weeks, and I had a beer because I'm not a simp. If those guys are cops, count me out. I back the Blue, but not you. I love all the people on the Twitter, "So much for backing the Blue!" Hey, I got something they can put right up their back if you know what I'm saying because they ain't cops. They punk-ass b****** and I don't give a sh** what they think and I don't give a sh** what they say and they can kiss my ass. And anyone who wants me to wear a mask can kiss my ass. The big rig driver in chief, he can kiss my ass, too. They can all kiss my ass. 

Go get my new book, "The Split," those are the old books. I don't have a copy of the new one handy, I'd put it up. It's "The Split," go check it out. Go to my Locals page, you can find everything Kurt there, and gosh, that's about it for now on the "Stream of Kurtiousness." Thanks for listening. Adios. 

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