Hey, everybody! Welcome to this week's edition of the "Stream of Kurtiousness!" The Townhall VIP interlude in which you and I share so many feelings. It's a festival of feelings. And what am I feeling today? I'm feeling giddy. I'm feeling excited. I'm feeling happy because I like to see stupid people fail. I don't know; it just fulfills me on a very deep, emotional level. And if you know me, emotions are important to Kurt.
Look, I'm not going to talk about Jeffrey Toobin again, okay? Except to say that I greatly regret last week when I talked about Jeffrey Toobin not to do any kind of pun on his name. For instance, "Hey, Toobin was toobinin' it!" I didn't do that, and it's so obvious. I can't believe it because if there's any joke I like, it's an obvious one. So, I'm sorry about that. We're not doing Toobin today. We are doing even better. Yes, there's something even more amusing. It's the ritual suicide of the woke.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you Victoria's Secret 2.0! Instead of hot chicks, we're going to get fat ones, ugly ones, ones who don't like dudes, ones that don't identify as women. It's amazing.
Do you remember Victoria's Secret? Now, Victoria's Secret was a great idea that showed a deep understanding of not just the American mind but the mind of all women everywhere. What it did was, it said, "Every woman, we're going to sell you stuff. It's going to let you be like these beautiful girls." The secret of women is their insecurity. They don't understand when they look like a "Victoria's Secret Angel," I guess that's what they called them, to their guy. This helped them get over their kind of crippling fear that some of them had by getting sexy lingerie in a safe, clean place where there weren't a lot of leering creepy dudes. And I know out there that some Bulwark guys are going, "I used to hang around the Victoria's Secret stuff, look at the panties, go home, and if the pool boy wasn't around..."
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Look, putting that aside...It was a brilliant idea because it allowed every woman access to the kind of sexiness, and kind of in a wholesome way. It wasn't like a dirty place. It wasn't a bunch of skeevy perverts in raincoats. It was a very safe place for women. And you know, every once in a while, I would go in there and buy my wife a little Victoria's Secret coupon. I'm not going to try and pick something out, okay? I know my limitations. As Clint Eastwood said, "A man's got to know his limitations." My limitations include not buying lingerie, but I can buy a gift card.
It was a neat place, and women liked it. And that couldn't be allowed to stand. It had to be destroyed, as everything that people enjoy has to be destroyed. Whether it's baseball, or the Boy Scouts, or American military dominance, it all must be destroyed in the pursuit of wokeness. What did they do with Victoria's Secret?
The chairman of it, who is a guy with a name that I don't know because I really don't care, said, "You know, times are changing, and we haven't changed." Okay, stop time!
Women and human nature are never going to change. Women want to be beautiful. They want to be loved by their men, alright? That's a nice, normal thing.
Now, admittedly there are some out there who have a problem with that. These are the liberal wine women of suburbia who are married to male-identifying creatures that lack potency and can't do push-ups. I understand why their lives are a mess because they have volunteered to throw away all of the things that are great about being a woman on the altar of progressiveness. And they're unhappy, and they're miserable, and they don't feel we should be happy too. People are happy with beautiful Victoria's Secret women in sexy lingerie walking in Victoria's Secret ads and stuff, and everyone was happy. Everyone except the liberals because they can't be happy when you're happy. It has to be destroyed.
Have you noticed their hatred of Melania Trump? She wasn't a Victoria's Secret model, but she's a very beautiful woman in a very traditional way. There was nothing quirky about her. She didn't look like Kamala Harris's mutated step-daughter. She was a classic beauty, and they hated that because they can't be classic beauties. You have to understand that the basis of liberal feminism is to make unloved and unlovable unattractive liberal women the standard rather than the horrible, hideous exception. They want you to be as miserable as they are.
So anyway, this guy decides to change it, "We're gonna change. Gone are the beautiful women! We're going to get Megan Rapinoe!" Do you remember her? She is a man-looking soccer player. She kneels all the time. She hates America. She's a commie. She has pink hair. She's not attractive, okay? She's not traditionally attractive. And she's now going to be the face of Victoria's Secret. "And now we have a transexual model, and we have a plus-size model..." Where do I start?
Normal women want to be pretty. Normal women want to be loved by men. Normal women don't want to be unattractive. Look, Victoria's Secret women were an exception. These were genetically engineered creatures of the stereotype of beauty in Western society, classic. Most people don't look like that, but most people understand that.
Victoria's Secret offered the chance for people to have a part of that. They could wear sexy clothes and by doing so show that they were attracted to their partner, or their partner could buy it for them, or in my case, you know, "Here's a card...Don't ask me!" I don't even know how any of that crap works. To me, women's lingerie is a giant puzzle. And I'm not interested in it. Also, I don't write for the Bulwark, so there's no personal need for me to understand any of it.
It had to be destroyed. If Megan Rapinoe wasn't such a pain in the ass, if she wasn't so nasty and unpleasant and America hating, there would be someone who loved her who would say, "I want to buy you sexy things," and that would've been beautiful, it would've been wonderful. But she's just a mean bitter person. And that's what leftism is, folks.
Leftism is about an emptiness inside that has to be filled up with other people's pain because other people's pain may dilute your own. And that's what they did with Victoria's Secret. Now, it's no secret what's going to happen to Victoria's Secret! It's the worst kept secret in the world. Victoria's Secret 2.0 is going to go down the toilet. It's going to go down the bowl and be flushed away.
Remember when Playboy came out and said, "We're moving away from nudity and the old style of beauty. We're going to have a transexual centerfold." Okay, when was the last time you saw a Playboy? I mean, if you bend over the counter at a 7-Eleven probably, but the fact is Playboy is irrelevant to our discussion, but when I was growing up, people liked Playboy. It was a thing, and it mattered in the culture. Playboy's irrelevant now. And it's not simply because you can get your Jeffrey Toobin matter online easily. It's because it doesn't attempt to win people over.
The thing about Playboy wasn't that they were naked. Even in the old days, you could get naked stuff. What it sold was a hyper sense of reality. The Playmates were the quintessential beautiful woman for guys. And, you know, a lot of women liked that and thought, "Oh, okay, that's what I'll aim at." And when they got women that men were not attracted to, it became irrelevant. Same with the Sports Illustrated thing. Now they have like fat models. Okay, no. No, that's not the purpose of models. Models, by definition, are not the same as normal people. They're not supposed to be. But stupid people may think they are.
Victoria's Secret is going down the tubes like Playboy's going down the tubes. It's just going to be completely irrelevant. And I'm glad.
Somebody else will fill the void. We're seeing a lot of these voids here—everything from conservative media, conservative entertainment, my books. I sell six figures of these. I sell so many of these books. Why? Are they great books? They're fun books. I love my books. There's nothing like them out in the market. If we had a real functioning market, without gatekeepers trying to keep stuff like "People's Republic" and "Crisis" out of your hands because you'd like them because it has a message that you'd like that America is a great place and needs to be defended and protected and preserved, I wouldn't sell as many because you could get it somewhere else. Go on Netflix. You will never see these on Netflix. They would make great Netflix movies, but you will never see them.
Victoria's Secret has left a giant hole for conventional attractiveness. You see it in kids' movies too. There's nothing like a "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" anymore. There are no movies that aren't woke that fill a need that people want to see. They're gone. That's an opportunity, folks. There's an opportunity there.
As for Victoria's Secret, adios! You're gone. You're done. You're finished.
This is my "Stream of Kurtiousness." I've gone on a long time. I hope you've enjoyed it. Bye-bye, and don't be like Jeffrey Toobin on a Zoom call caught touching yourself. Don't do that. Just a warning out there. Check out all of my articles, follow me on Twitter @KurtSchlichter, come to my Locals page where I do a daily report on video, sort of like this except not quite like this, a little shorter, more complex about one issue. I'll see you soon, bye!
