Opinion

Idea: In 2022, Let’s Nominate Candidates Who Aren’t Awful

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Posted: May 13, 2021 12:01 AM
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Idea: In 2022, Let’s Nominate Candidates Who Aren’t Awful

Source: AP Photo/Keith Srakocic

To save our country from President *’s reign of error, the Republican Party is going to have to think outside the box, push the envelope, and execute other similar cliches. I have a suggestion for an innovative strategy for the 2022 election cycle that might well overcome the usual GOP establishment tendency toward failure. I say – and you may want to sit down – that this time we should pick some candidates that don’t suck.

Hear me out. It’s kind of crazy, but it just might work.

A nominee who doesn’t suck has certain advantages over the usual losers we see all too often idioting up our ballots. One of those advantages is that people are more likely to vote for someone who is not terrible than one who manifestly is. And getting more votes than the Democrat – who is always terrible – is a very, very important part of electoral victory, though you would not know that from the GOPe’s actions. Its members seem to think the goal is polite defeat, but us unwashed Jesus people who like guns and America and don’t live near Washington have this weird notion that candidates should attempt to win their elections.

Maybe we should try that in 2022.

Now, a good Republican candidate needs to do several things to keep from failing at the starting line. These things are pretty basic, and they are not hard. You just need a spine, though in our party, vertebrae sometimes seem to be in short supply. 

A good Republican candidate needs to understand the entire campaign is about President Asterisk and the economic and social havoc he is causing for normal Americans.

A good Republican candidate needs to know what time it is – that is, he needs to understand that wokism is a terminal illness if not treated by amputation.

A good Republican candidate needs to get that we are the party of law and order, on our streets and on the border.

A good Republican candidate needs to know that every institution hates us, and that we owe the institutions no deference or respect.

A good Republican candidate needs to know that we are not the party of big corporations but of working people and small business.

A good Republican candidate needs to get that the only commonsense gun control is a clear sight picture, proper grip, and good breath control as you squeeze the trigger.

A good Republican candidate needs to loathe the media as much as it loathes us.

A good Republican candidate needs to understand that we still love President Trump and that we will not support anyone who joins the liberals in attacking him.

In other words, a good Republican candidate needs to side with us, not the establishment, and a good Republican candidate doesn’t care if the establishment hates him – in fact, he wears its fussy fury as a badge of honor.

Imagine GOP candidates embracing the GOP base’s agenda…it’s wacky, sure, but perhaps we should give it a try.

Like, say, in Pennsylvania. The Senate seat there is up for grabs, Pat Toomey’s brilliant idea to support gun control and backstab the President having assured him a primary that he would have lost in a most humiliating fashion. Weird how your own side despises you when you betray it, and how the other side also despises you because it always despised you plus now you’re a scuzzy turncoat to boot. So, there’s a fight coming in the PA. And we might just keep this critical seat because…drumroll…Republican voters have a chance to nominate a good candidate. Sean Parnell – who is a friend – has announced, and he’s already the frontrunner. A decorated combat vet and author, Sean almost took out Connor Lamb in a Dem district in 2020. Only megabucks from Pelosi and that special help all PA Dems receive saved Lamb’s worthless sheepskin from defeat.

Sean, however, used his campaign to build a reputation and honed his political chops. PA is in play – Scranton Joe never cared about the Keystone State, and he is attacking fracking and cultivating inflation. People are angry. Sean’s got a first-rate team, and he’s got a plan. But most important, he’s all in on conservatism, not the cruise ship con kind that has all the bow-tie boys in the Beltway shrieking “Ahoy,” but the kind of conservatism that fights and wins.

Another Jeb! puffball is not going to win – they almost never win, and when they manage to, they become Mitt Romney. Nobody likes Mitt Romney.

Another tiresome self-funder is not going to win – this seat matters and it is no time for some rich goober to ego trip Chuck Schumer into a filibuster-busting majority.

And, as we saw recently in Texas 6, where the Cheney/Kinzinger Lido Deck candidate got a whopping 3% of the vote, another Never Trump Fredocon is not going to win. A ranger like Sean Parnell? Now, he can win.

This is not merely applicable to PA, of course. Sean is just one of the first of the new generation of good candidates to get in the fight. We’ll be seeing a lot more new

Republican candidates appear, and we need to vet the hell out of them to ensure they are conservawoke. Are they weakhearts, sissies, or some other part of the Bulwark demographic? Are they corporate shills? Are they all in on your kids fighting a war in Whocarsistan? Do they treat the media like the garbage it is? When the left runs down President Trump, do they defend his record or nod along? Do they stand with you, or with the people who hate you? Choose wisely. And choose someone who isn’t awful in 2022.

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