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The Democrats’ Massive Impeachment Fail

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of
AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite

Well, the gibbering, babbling left wanted an impeachment, and now they’re getting it good and hard. To the surprise of no one who isn’t a blue city pol, a media hack, or an insufferable Fredocon sissy, the American people are not particularly impressed by the genius idea of replacing our president a year before an election because he allegedly expressed curiosity about why the coke-sniffing, stripper-impregnating, dead brother’s wife-trifling, Navy-rejected loser son of Vice President Gropey O’Definitelynotsenile scored a $50K+ a month gig on a Ukrainian gas board. And it’s just dawning on some of them they maybe this impeachment brainstorm was not the bestest idea there ever was.


They think the optics of the Schiff hearings were great. They weren’t great. Yeah, let’s get a bunch of Deep State suits to come in and explain how the guy we elected to shake up the foreign policy elite’s decades of utter failure is bad because he is shaking up the foreign policy elite’s decades of utter failure. And then you have That’sLieutenant Colonel Bratwurst – if you’ve been in uniform, you know there’s one of those guys in every unit, and the wise commander has him off inventorying combat boots at the CIF, where he can’t provoke the troops to hang him by his skivvies from the flag pole out in front of Division HQ. You look at this parade of smug, over-credentialed bureaucrats with delusions of competence and a track record of screw-ups and, to cite the popular meme, you realize that Trump was elected to fire people like them.

Maybe you hear it in the Beltway, but you don’t hear normal people out in America demanding, “Let these people rule over us unimpeded by our electoral choices!” After all, these are the same people who think your kid ought to die defending the Turkish-Syrian border but tell you it’s a crime against humanity to defend our own border with Cartelistan.

Schiff did a predictably schiffy job, so to salvage this smoking ruin, why not make the smart move and hand it over to the Judiciary Committee for more onanism under the steady, not-moronic-at-all guidance of that legendary legislative oompa loompa, Jerry Nadler (D-Wonkatown)? Let’s start with a parade of liberal law professors. I have a bit of experience with that. Watch the Home Shopping and the Bass Fishing Networks’ ratings go through the roof. It’s like the Dems gathered together all the most noted and renowned morons in the Democratic Party and got together to work out a solution to the question, “How do we make this political New Coke even worse?”


No one else is asking this question.

Let’s leave aside the fact that simple math makes this entire exercise as futile as a Weekly Standard writer staffer’s Valentine’s Day. Their eventual humiliation is assured in the Senate unless and until they get 20 Republicans to commit ritual suicide over Trump pointing out the manifest corruption of Touchy J and Lil’ Crackpipe.

And they aren’t getting 20 GOP votes in the Senate. Igloo Maverick Lisa Murkowski, maybe, but they probably won’t even get Mitt Romney. At the end of the day, he’ll submit. He wet himself when Candy Crowley rebuked him. Do you think he’d dare stand up to the Murder Turtle?

So, where do these clowns go now that they’ve taken this thing so far and bored and annoyed all of America outside the blue hellholes? Adam Schiff doesn’t have to worry. In his district, Lenin would get a primary challenger from the left. He’s safe. So is Nadler the human garden gnome, and so are so many of the libs howling about Ukraine now that the whole howling about Russia thing nosedived.

But those purple district Dems who got elected talking about “unity” and “working together” and how they would be “independent” and “not Nancy Pelosi’s puppet,” well, it’s a little different when Nancy’s hand is up your puppet hole making you say “impeachment” while your constituents are saying, “Uh, what exactly have you done in D.C. for two years besides whine about Trump?”


And what have they done? Literally nothing. The Democratic House has done zero things since they took over. The Mexico-Canada trade deal is sitting there, waiting, and they are whining because Trump dares to investigate elite corruption? If you look at the Democrats, they seem to think that the biggest problem America faces is that Democrats do not have more power, and that the only issue worth addressing is their deficit of authority. But powerless liberals is a feature, not a bug.

You’re starting to hear some rumblings from the margins about how maybe this wasn’t the stroke of genius the congressjerks from West L.A. and Manhattan thought it was. The fact that it will inevitably end in a bored senatorial shrug is the perfect chef’s kiss. The dealer is showing a king and the Dems have a three and a deuce? Time to double down!

This is going to end badly, hilariously badly, and everyone seems to know it except the Democratic leaders like Schiff and now the Nadd, who are driving full speed into the brick wall (Pelosi knows, which is why she’s right behind them, every step of the way). It’s like the proverbial dog who chases the car and then wonders what to do when he finally catches it – just before the car backs up and runs him over.

The wait is done – Collapse, my hard-hitting yet hilarious sequel to People's RepublicIndian Country and/or Wildfire is finally out in both Kindle and in paperback! The Kelly Turnbull novels have been hailed by Bill Kristol as “Appalling,” so you’ll want to get them all!


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