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Joe Biden Learns You Can Never Be Woke Enough

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of
AP Photo/Susan Walsh

By any sane standard, Joe Biden is not a racist. He’s a clod, a creepy leech, terminally dumb, and he says cringy things (including about race), but the idea that he harbors any vicious hatred for people based on their race is really, really far-fetched. Sure, there’s a statistically insignificant chance that Sleepy Floppy Gropey Joe is really Seggy Joe, wistfully recalling the days of segregation and Jim Crow – after all, those are Democrat inventions – but it’s … unlikely. But that doesn’t matter. The Social Justice Whiners who totally dominate the Democrat Party have made sure that neither he nor any of the other liberals fighting for the chance to be crushed by Donald Trump in 2020 will be measured by any sane standard.


Joe recently mentioned how he was able to work with the loathsome Democrat racists infesting the Senate when he got there in the early '70s. They were a different breed of loathsome Democrat racists back then. They hated everyone who was not white. Today’s loathsome Democrat racists now hate everyone who is, but they are more flexible than that. The loathsome Democrats of today are not merely racists, but sexist religious bigots who hate men, observant Jews and Christians, as well as individual members of sexual and racial minorities who reject the poisonous ideology of progressivism. Their word for this evolution is “progress.”

Anyway, Joe fell into a wokeness trap by thinking his theme of normalcy and working together, which his consultants told him will appeal to the soft dummies in the suburbs who usually vote Republican but got scared by The Donald’s refusal to be a submissive sissy, would trump the SJW agenda. Oh no. He spoke about how he got along with those awful Democrats of yore and, well, that’s pretty much proof he’s a Grand Cyclops, just like Democrat hero Robert Byrd.

It’s all stupid and not even his opponents, who would never even vote for him to be Delaware’s Dogcatcher-in-Chief, believe that Joe Biden is some sort of second coming of Bull Connor eager to divide up drinking fountains by skin tone. Nor do the SJWs and the cynical candidates who picked up the cudgel of “RACIST!” and beat him about his empty head with it. But none of that matters. Facts are a bourgeois conceit, you see, and they are themselves racist when they get in the way of the progressive narrative. Racism charges don’t have to be true if they can kneecap an opponent.


Truth is an obstacle to be overcome in the service of leftism. Just ask non-convict Jussie Smollett.

What’s hilarious is Baffled Joe’s reaction to this perfectly predictable uproar. He was legit outraged that anyone would say something like this about him, yet it was cute how he was surprised at the world he made and at the behavior of the Children of the Damned he helped raise. Joe was happy to slime Republicans with the same kind of garbage he’s lately been pelted with. Remember what he said about Mitt Romney, who is useless for dozens of reasons but none of which is that he hates black people? Joe said: “They’re gonna put y’all back in chains!”

Well Joe, enjoy being filleted by your own. We’re over here laughing, you jerk.

Now, Joe got no benefit of the doubt and neither will you, of course, because the whole idea behind SJW grievance mongering is to continually move the goalposts of wokeness such that you cannot ever not be terrible. You can never be woke enough.

You know how stupid hippies say, “Hey man, it’s like the journey, not the destination” and then take a bong hit? With SJWs, it actually is that – the calling out is the purpose, not the elimination of the overwhelmingly fake bigotry plaguing our society in their fevered imaginations. If they ended bigotry, they’d have to go get jobs and that’s not in the cards.


SJWism needs to have an enemy to shriek about – their alleged victimization validates these miserable weirdos’ existence. There’s never going to be a day when they say, “Okay, we’ve finally eliminated racism, sexism, homophobia, Islamophobia, and fatphobia, so we’re done. Time to ride our scooters down to McDonald’s and put in a resume!”

A great example involving tiresome goof Julian Castro recently made the rounds on Twitter. At a Planned Parenthood event, which is absolutely perfect, some self-identified “non-binary activist” queries Castro about his plan to “expand sexual & reproductive health for trans people,” apparently believing that the primary role of our chief executive is to provide abortions to people regardless of their uterus status. Castro decides he’s got this, that he’s woke and he’s gonna rock the mic with his wokeness, so he enquires about NBA’s pronouns.

NBA responds that NBA does not use pronouns. Take that, cis expectations! The crowd claps.

Just when you think you got the wokeness down BAM! – there you go, right back to the end of the woke line.

There is no right answer. There is no good enough. There is no winning. Here’s how he should have handled it:

Actually, I don’t use any pronouns!

Oh, well you’re a silly person and I’ve wasted enough time on you and your ridiculous performance art. Next question, and it better not be stupid!


See, the only way to win is not to play. But the Democrats have to play. 

And Trump not only doesn’t, but he won’t. 

This election – Wokepocalypse 2020 – is going to be hilarious.

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