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Apocalypse Ruth

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.

There are some opponents worthy of grudging respect. Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg is a terrible legal thinker, a leftist with no real respect for liberty and a confessed critic of the Constitution over its limitations upon the government’s ability to impose her fans’ pinko vision of soft, huggy tyranny upon Normal Americans. But I respect her as an opponent – to do otherwise would be to lie to ourselves that our opponents are hopeless and helpless. She’s a tough old bird, surviving cancer and other perils and yet she always comes back to torment us with her appalling jurisprudence. You gotta give her props for never quitting. She’s the Energizer Liberal Jurist.


So, when I discuss the 85-year old’s likely imminent departure from the Supreme Court seat where she has frustrated those of us who dig freedom for so long, I am not hoping for her to lose her latest fight. Liberals will lie and say I am, that conservatives in general are hoping for her demise, but they lie about everything so why not this too? Most conservatives yearn for her to retire, but also wish her a return to good health. I do. I don’t think she’s a bad person deserving of a horrible fate because we disagree. Far be it for me to gainsay Justice Scalia, who liked her. I think she’s misguided, not evil. But also I think we all need to think about the coming fight when she leaves the Court, because that brawl is coming regardless.

I am of the contingent that looks at the odds and figures that her tenure is drawing to a close. I could be wrong. So could the many connected and informed people who have passed on to me the rumors that her condition is much worse than is being let on. Remember that an ailing Justice Rehnquist assured us in a statement that he intended on returning to the Court soon, and that seven weeks later he was being buried. Our hopes and prayers for her health aside – and many conservatives are offering them even as they would love her to retire – my money is still on a 2019 fight to replace her.

The Notorious RBG fans are not going to react well. That she has fans is weird enough. It’s not her legal legacy, which is an undistinguished mish-mash of liberal goo once you get past some decent work on women’s rights a half century ago. Her legendary status is partly that she’s a leftist, and partly that she’s so tough. She’s become a secular saint to for libs, proving once again that when you reject religion you have to fill up your spiritual void with something.


So, we have people offering her their organs if that will keep her going. We are treated to fawning documentaries, scores of Ruth-themed knick-knacks, and tributes by late nite TV dummies who think “Certiorari” was a famous Roman. There’s even a movie about her early years that’s out now starring some hot actress in the title role, which I will avoid because I just can’t deal with Sexy Ruth Bader Ginsberg.


This blind adoration, combined with the realization that the SCOTUS will finally, after decades, be conservative by 6-3 – well, our soft Chief Justice John Roberts will make it 5.5-3.5 – is why the next confirmation fight is going to be Kavanaugh squared.

They will go nuts. But this time, we’ll be ready. And this time, Fredocons like Jeff Flake and Lisa Murkowski are going to be neutered by his rejection and her irrelevance following the elections of additional Republican senators. Plus, the newly energized Lindsey Graham will be the Chairman of the Judiciary Committee and our newly minted Conservative Avenger will regulate like a boss.

While my heart belongs to Judge Don Willett (who swore me into the Texas Bar), my money is on Amy Coney Barrett. She’s got some huge assets that make her the likely pick, starting with the “her” part. Let’s face it – gender and other irrelevancies matter to some people. It’s stupid and prejudiced, but there it is – liberals don’t get that us conservatives would be thrilled with a panel of nine lesbian Muslims of color with limps who believe the First and Second Amendments mean what they say.


In any case, in this dumb world replacing a person who identifies as female is going to be much easier if you replace her with someone who identifies as female. In fact, she’s too female for a lot of barren, bitter libs. She has seven kids, including some adopted ones. And you know how lonely coastal spinsters with “It’s Her Turn” bumper stickers on the Priuses they use to drive to Trader Joe’s to get off-brand clearance Chardonnay and cruelty-free cat food feel about breeders.

She’s also a Catholic, but not the kind liberals like. She actually believes that Jesus stuff.

Barrett’s also a huge favorite with conservatives because she’s a legal genius. She clerked with Justice Scalia…enough said.

The Dems are going to freak, and we should welcome it.

I eagerly await attacks on Judge Barrett for her outrageous fertility. Let’s let them take a hard stand against motherhood.

Please, please, please, continue the assault on Catholics and other believing Christians. Do it on TV, in front of the world. Show us what you really think of us, Donkey Senators.

And hopefully Diane Feinstein can drop some new kooky letter at the last-minute accusing her of some unverifiable impropriety back in 1982. Because I just don’t think the American people will stand for another such fiasco.

Soon-to-be Justice Barrett will not just make a great jurist. She’ll help pave the way for Donald Trump’s re-election by reminding us just what kind of people the Democrats are.

And maybe, in time, she’ll even become the Notorious ACB.


If you want to see the nightmareish America that would result if Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s fans get their way, check out my latest novel, Wildfire (and the earlier People’s Republic and Indian Country) to see what it looks like when you toss the Constitution out and replace concepts like enumerated powers and the Bill of Rights with SJW feelz.

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