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Can Creepy Leftist Weirdos Create A Progressive Tea Party?

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of

The post-Inauguration freak show that descended on Washington was a far cry from the festival of flags and tri-corner hats of the Tea Party revolt by America’s normals. Instead of a Norman Rockwell painting about democracy come to life, it looked like the parking lot sale at the offices of Dr. Fred Skeeve, the Discount Gynecologist.


Now, normal people would typically react with alarm and disgust at this kind of bizarre pageant, assuming they cared enough to pay attention to it. In the off chance they happened to encounter it while flipping channels, they would likely lunge for the remote so as not to poison innocent ears with puffy former starlet Ashely Judd’s anatomically incorrect slam poetry. Never have so many hotness-challenged crones so vehemently rejected being grabbed while simultaneously being at so little risk of it.

It’s a testament to the effectiveness of the liberal bubble that these loons expected that regular folks would see a bunch of grown women parading about in genital suits and think, “Yeah, these are the kind of mature, sensible people who really get where I’m coming from as a suburban mom. Especially that bunch over there in costumes that bring to mind what I suspect would be the chorus line climax at Hot Bodz Gentlemen’s Club in Newark.”

But while this baffling phenomena puzzled normal people, we still need to remember that 60 million-plus people did vote for Hillary Clinton, give or take a few million illegal aliens. And about one million of them marched around like idiots in the cold to protest that the election was illegitimate because they lost. Or something.

Though that is only about one in every 330 Americans, that’s still a lot of people. The Tea Party movement also started small, but its impact was enormous. It is not too much to say that without the Tea Party, the GOP would likely still be floundering around in a sea of squish. We’d probably continue nominating soft boys like Jeb, who desperately seek the approval of femmy doofuses like David Brooks instead of actual voters and feel compelled to passively submit to every abuse, indignity, and defeat the Democrats heap upon them.


The Tea Party was a testosterone injection into the Low-T party. It gave the Republicans back their edge. It reminded a party that was born literally fighting Democrats on literal battlefields that it could fight and win on figurative ones. The Tea Party remade the GOP. It created a new generation of strong leaders, and it put some too-long absent righteous terror into some weak ones.

Did it always succeed? No. But was it a failure? Ask Speaker Boehner if you can catch him between sips and understand his bitter mumbling.

Now the question is whether the Democrats can pull off the same thing, because you know they want to – sort of. Don’t believe the comfortable lie liberals tell themselves – the Tea Party was no astroturfed, community organized event. It was largely spontaneous, brought into being mainly by people who had learned their organizational skills running small businesses, churches, and community events. Sure, the charlatans came along later, but in its prime the Tea Party was just normal people pushing into politics as a way of pushing back against liberal intrusion into their lives.

Of course, that decentralization was what frustrated the GOP Establishment – they could not control the beast. The Tea Party did its own thing, famously defying the bosses with various levels of success. Ted Cruz, Mike Lee, and Marco Rubio: Good. That oddball who went on TV to deny being a witch: Not so good. And the Tea Party held the Establishment’s Gucci loafered feet to the fire – instead of just going through the motions, now the GOP had to start performing. That’s happened with various levels of success, but just remember that Obamacare is going to be dead in the very near future. Revenge is a dish best served cold – think iced tea.


Now, can this collection of leftist strange-os and commies, feminists and femboys, do the same? Can they build an independent movement that revitalizes their party and makes it win again? Doubtful, but that doesn’t mean the left isn’t dangerous. After all, they do have something the Tea Party never had: Every single major cultural institution except the U.S. military and the Country Music Hall of Fame in their corner.

A leftist Tea Party will be very different in structure. The Tea Party was decentralized; the leftist version will be highly centralized and highly community organized. Look at the march – George Soros was pouring money into some 50 of the groups putting it on. Tea Party rallies never had that many sponsors, and they sure as hell had no single sugar daddy funding them.

Centralization means control. The Tea Party was totally out of the establishment’s control; it gave the establishment fits, but eventually broke the establishment’s will. The Democrats are not going to make that mistake. Remember how the Tea Party spent half its time fighting its own party? Now, look at the march and try to find one single policy where the march and the Democratic Party were not in perfect, absolute synch? There isn’t one.

But it still might be dangerous, especially with the media slobbering all over it. You can bet that any time three or more lunatics in their naughty bit hats gather together there’ll be a CNN Breaking News Alert on America’s overwhelming rejection of President Trump. But there are things we can do to complicate their plan to make America ungovernable – remember, their goal is to tire America out with constant crises such that normals give up on self-government and cede power to Team Nasty.


One is to keep the pressure on the GOP to perform. At the end of the day, President Trump succeeds if he keeps his promises to kill our enemies, build a wall, deep six O-care and, most of all, get the economy going for everyone, not just hipsters and tech titans. There are fewer GOP squishes than there were, but Hatch, McCain and Little Lord Lindsey aren’t facing election for awhile so we can expect antics. Keep the pressure on, because we keep power only if the GOP keeps its promises.

Another is to fight the cultural battle. Reject the Hollywood hacks who reject you – make the sacrifice of not watching that next Meryl Streep movie. Don’t patronize the lying left wing media. And make sure your non-political friends hear you mocking the idiocy of the left. A picture of the march, especially with those goofs cavorting around terrified kids, is worth a thousand shared articles on Facebook.

Do we enjoy having a hyper-politicized culture? No, but we’ll enjoy having a hyper-politicized culture run by these man-hating, sharia-tolerating, abortion-loving, non-trash picking up bunch of pinko libfascists even less. Yeah, boycotts and stuff are unseemly – so what? No more unilateral disarmament. They need to learn there is a price for political posturing that insults and disrespects us – and that price must be pain. It’s the only way they will learn.


Can the left pull off creating its own mass movement? Maybe. If it does, the Democrat Tea Party would not be another Tea Party, but simply a cohort of foot soldiers activated by the hyped up threat of Donald Trump. The left wants to use the current situation to pump up the enthusiasm of its base, while the Tea Party (and then, later, the GOP that it changed) expanded the base. Anyone involved in the Tea Party knows people who changed from liberal to conservative because of Obama. It seems unlikely that Donald Trump appointing Mad Dog Mattis, gutting Obamacare, freezing federal hiring, and approving Keystone is going to drive a lot of conservatives left. Well, maybe Evan McMullin. Maybe next time, he and Ashley Judd can mobilize the unshaven masses to even greater heights of Trump derangement with an inspiring rap duet about their urogenital tracts.

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