When most of us think of our birthdays, we probably have flashbacks to childhood. When I was three, my parents put together a Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs party for me. The icing on the cake (pun intended) — besides the love poured into it — was the Dopey cookie. Mom had all seven of the little guys around the cake, but he was my favorite. I sensed a kinship early on.
That Dopey memory gets us to a key reason birthdays are big deals: People need to know they are loved and a blessing to the world. They need to know that it's not their successes that give them irrevocable value; it's simply their existence. If you are a believer in God, we should be seeing God in one another, because he cared to think of the idea of you and me in the first place.
From hanging around the religious service group Sisters of Life, I've gotten a taste of what life without birthdays can be like. Some of the women who come to them are pregnant and in need of friendship, mentorship and a way to be the mother she already is to the developing child within her. Not only does abortion end a life, but it also hurts the mother and has an impact on others in her life — likely the people she loves the most.
Some of those same women have never had anyone celebrate a birthday for them. How do you embrace new life under challenging and even desperate situations if you have never had people insist to you that your life is a gift to them? On a good day, how are you supposed to realize that an inconvenient pregnancy is worth much of anything when many, if not most, mainstream signs tell you that abortion is just another medical procedure? And if you don't think your life is worth living? Most of us are aware of how prevalent suicide is in the United States — the federal government has called it a pandemic. It may sound simplistic, but birthdays are a solution. Obviously, just a baby step — the least we can do for someone. But it could be a contributor not only keeping people alive, but helping with joy, and a knowledge that the creator of the universe cares not only for the oceans and mountains and various birds in the sky, but also for you.
"I think it is more important to celebrate a birthday than a successful exam, a promotion, or a victory, author Henri Nouwen wrote. "Because to celebrate a birthday means to say to someone: 'Thank you for being you.' Celebrating a birthday is exalting life and being glad for it. On a birthday, we do not say: "Thanks for what you did or said or accomplished." No, we say: "Thank you for being born and being among us."
Let's face it: Whatever mistakes we've made and challenges we have — it is good to be alive. It's not easy. But we can be grateful, and we can have joy. And I promise you it can be contagious.
It's not only about remembering and celebrating birthdays. Treat people like every day is their birthday. Buy them flowers. Surprise them with a book on their desk. Remind them their existence makes life better. Ask about birthdates. Put them in your calendar. It's more important than we may ever fully realize.
Kathryn Jean Lopez is a senior fellow at the National Review Institute, editor-at-large of National Review magazine and author of the new book "A Year With the Mystics: Visionary Wisdom for Daily Living." She is also chair of Cardinal Dolan's pro-life commission in New York and is on the board of the University of Mary. She can be contacted at klopez@nationalreview.com.
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