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EPA Takes to Air to Watch Cow Pies

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of

The Environmental Protection Agency declined to answer questions this week as the Omaha World-Herald sought to clarify whether the agency had the legal authority to conduct overflights of cattle operations to determine if cattle are pooping in streams in the Midwest.

I don’t know much about bovine latrine habits, but I’ve been around enough pastures to know that cattle really aren’t that particular.

It seems to me that they let go pretty much wherever they are, stream or no.

So I think I can say with some authority, that, yes, cattle all around the Midwest are indeed pooping in streams, legally or otherwise.

That’s the kind of rugged individualists that cow herds appear to be now in face of the bullying- pun intended-cowards in the Obama administration. It’s gotten so bad that not content to rough up people, the Obama administration has to go do some environmental cow-tipping. 

What’s supposed to be sport for drunk people, is now official policy.


And I really don’t need to see the pictures to know that cows are standing up for liberty when they poop all over the EPA in this way.  

But bureaucrats, being what they are, the cow-hating crime fighters from DC have now taken to the skies 16 times in Nebraska and Iowa to help identify cattle that aren’t washing their hands prior to returning to work, so to speak.

Next week I hear they are getting hair nets and plastic name tags for the cows.

I found an unattributed quip on the internet over the last few days that perfectly explains the increasing fascination progressives have with fascism: “You can now marry your same-sex first cousin in New York and get an abortion with taxpayer money, but you can't have a large Pepsi.”

And cows can only poop in designated areas.  

Good luck.

Thank goodness we killed off the numberless buffalo. Imagine all those millions of bison roaming the West with no bathroom attendant.  

According to the Herald, the EPA thinks the flights have legal precedence.

While the EPA would not answer questions on the record, they did release a statement saying:

Courts, including the Supreme Court, have found similar types of flights to be legal (for example to take aerial photographs of a chemical manufacturing facility) and EPA would use such flights in appropriate instances to protect people and the environment from violations of the Clean Water Act.

Wait: I thought the whole purpose of the flights was to protect us from B.S., not spread even more of it. I mean if we are actually going to fine people for spreading B.S. we could start in the White House. 

Senator Mike Johanns, a Republican from Nebraska, who used to serve as agriculture secretary, says that the EPA has overstepped its authority, which it derives from congress.

“They are just way on the outer limits of any authority they've been granted,” he said according to the Herald.

Johanns told the CattleNetwork that “[m]y concerns are many” adding that the EPA has “little trust out in the country and people will get fired up” about the overflights.

The Nebraska Senator took to the agriculture airwaves on May 31st to express concern about “small planes circling” local feedlots.

“It’s happening, and I’m trying to find out just what’s involved,” Johanns told AgriTalk radio.

According to the CattleNetwork, the Nebraska congressional delegation has sent a letter to EPA administrator Lisa Jackson asking “for an explanation of the statutory authority under which EPA is conducting the surveillance, along with the purpose of the flights, their frequency and their use in enforcement actions.”

Good luck.

This is an administration that won’t answer questions as to why it illegally sold guns to Mexican drug cartels.

Expect more cow stuff. 

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