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OPINION

Dear Mitt: Please Don’t Morph into a Wuss During the Debates. Regards, Doug Giles

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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I’ve got to admit … I’m a wee bit concerned about the upcoming presidential debates. My fear is that Mitt, for whatever reason, will take the McCain fetal position before Obama and not come out swinging for the fence.

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Mitt ought to do this Wednesday what Babe Ruth did in ‘32 and point to Chicago like the Bambino pointed to centerfield bleachers and then verbally hammer Obama out of the park and back to Illinois.

In addition to Mitt being the aggressor versus a genteel back-pedaler, I’d like to see some former Navy SEALs in the crowd stand up and say, “Uh, Mr. President, did you refer to the deaths of an ambassador and two Navy SEALs as a ‘bump in the road?’” Then without missing a beat they’d launch into the following song sung to the tune of Pink Floyd’s “Another Brick in the Wall.”

We don't need no humiliation
We don’t need no thought control
No dark deception in the press room
Obama leave them SEALs alone
Hey! Obama! Leave them SEALs alone!
All in all we’re just another bump in the road.
All in all we're just another bump in the road.

(Then, of course, that would be followed by a robust chorus sung by children from the “We’re Sick of Obama’s Crapola Choir” from Bite Me, Mississippi.)

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Look, regardless of Romney’s debate performance I’m going to vote for him. If I have to I will stand in sweltering South Florida heat wearing a ski parka downwind of a grievously flatulent Rosie O’Donnell stuffing her mouth with bean burritos if that’s what it takes to make certain my vote gets cast against the crappiest president ever.

That said, I pray to God that Mitt truly gets aggressive and doesn’t even crack a smile as he systematically dismembers this Jimmy Carter on steroids. Call out his lies. Start with Benghazi.

Oh, and one more thing, Mr. Romney: During the debates please also fish-slap the incestuous Obama-backing media every chance you get for true Americans.

Peace out.

Check out my latest video, “Raising Boys Feminists Will Hate.”

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