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Occupy Your Third Graders

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of



This month a report surfaced of 3rd graders in Charlottesville, Virginia singing a song that the kiddos wrote (or so we were told) about being part of the 99% “Occupiers.” Here is a sample of the lyrics that the 9-year-olds supposedly drafted and then crooned for their comrades in class.

I used to be sad, now I’m satisfied
’Cause I really have enough
Though I lost my yacht and plane
Didn’t need that extra stuff
Could have been much worse
You don’t need to be first
’Cause I’ve got my friends
Here by my side
Don’t need it all
I’m so happy to be part of the 99

Question: What booger-eating, chunky, freckled public school 3rd grader (who has yet to master coloring within the lines of his coloring book and lives in a double-wide down by Rock Crick) has earned enough capital to have bought and lost a 60-foot Viking in landlocked Charlottesville? Answer: Uh, none.

In addition, I didn’t know 3rd graders were the playboy proprietors of Piaggio Avantis. Geez, where have I been?!

The good news is that when the parents of said kids found out their children were singing this socialistic slop—which praises the virtues of mediocrity—they wanted to know what Trotskyite was brainwashing their kids through song.

Upon inquiry, the school told the parents that their young ‘uns came up with this class warfare smack all by their lonesome. Matter of fact, the Albemarle County School Board Chairman, Stephen Koleszar, vigorously denied they were influenced at all by any outside source.

Well, Koleszar’s lies got shot to hell by the facts this week when Paul Reisler, the director of the group Kid Pan Alley, an outside musical company that “empowers kids through music,” confessed to messing with your child’s mind with Occupy overtones in their opera.

Note to offended parents and concerned citizens: You ought to call Stephen Koleszarand let him know you don’t appreciate that kind of refuse in the classroom. Be kind. But be firm. Don’t stoop to the level of the occupiers with their insane and inane vile verbosity.

Here’s another ditty for the progenitors of kids in public school: If I currently had children in public school, I would demand to read their textbooks, and I’d grill my bambinos every day to find out what kind of stuff they got sold before the final bell. I think you’d be shocked.

Oh, and teachers, if you don’t dig socialism and believe it’s a failed, enslaving economic nightmare, be sure to blow the whistle on any internal or external blowhards weaseling their way into our little ones’ noggins via the classroom. It’s just a suggestion.

Now, in the spirit of free enterprise, capitalism and American exceptionalism I say turnabout is fair play and that we should counter the communistic class warfare tunes turned out by the infiltrators of our children’s world by teaching our kids a song of opportunity and greatness instead of weakness and envy.

These Socialists Are Weird.

Why do you try to enslave me

In the public school?

Education has escaped me

Listening to you fools.

Oh, God, help me escape this class

And free me like a bird

I don’t wanna be an envious jackass

Like these occuturds.

Liberate me from these whiners

Who gripe and moan and bray

Put me around some winners

Who see opportuna-tay.

Freedom, freedom, freedom

Get out of here

Freedom, freedom, freedom

These socialists are weird.

Get your 3rd graders singing this song. If you videotape your group singing it and email it to me, I’ll post the best video in next week’s column.

P.S. Here’s another example of how the progressives are gunning for kids, through song, in the public school. Bizarre. 

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