Confidence is inspiring. The odds of you buying something from a salesman go up exponentially if the person is confident, even if they’re faking it. Someone trying to meet their end of month quota or light on commissions that week who spends their time pushing really hard to “close the deal” is more likely to turn you off than get your money. It’s no different in politics, and the people in fundraising in politics know it. So, when a party goes into panic mode, it’s a tactic that exposes something else entirely: that they don’t think much of the intelligence of their donors.
On Sunday, I got an email from Chuck Schumer under the subject line, “What’s the reason, Derek?” I was expecting something about why I have never given anything to Democrats and some bogus “survey” about what issues I care about. But that’s not what it was, it was even dumber.
“Hi Derek, it's Chuck Schumer,” the email opened, “I'm sorry to be blunt, but I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important: Why haven't you donated today?”
Today? Seriously? Forget “ever” and “I wouldn’t if your life depended on it” as answers, the email was sent at 11:33 am eastern time, which would put it at 8:33 pacific time. Does Chucky expect people to wake up and dive for their computer to give money to the American equivalent of the Communist Party?
Why the urgency? The email continues, “Your donation could be the one that ensures we defend our majority, so will you pitch in $5 or more to defeat Republicans and keep the Senate blue? I've unlocked a Triple-Impact Match, so it'll become $15 if you chip in before midnight.”
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Ah, the moron’s pitch: triple-match! The magical unicorn politicians have that can eat a $5 bill and poop out 3 of them. If only they’d use that creature to pay off the national debt.
Of course, it’s a lie – no such creature or match exists. It’s simply an attempt to get dumb people to think they’re mattering. Brilliant manipulation, crooked as the day is long. Which is why Democrats use it all the time.
Nancy Pelosi is no better. As leader of the Democrats in the House (spare me the idea that Hakeem Jeffries is their leader, she’s unwilling to give up power, especially to a black man), she’s raising money left and right. Her pitch is even more hard sell. “I need to make things abundantly clear before our Democratic National Convention begins tomorrow morning,” she writes. “I told you far-right donors FLOODED Republicans’ war chest – with $216 MILLION! I told you MAGA Republicans are embracing their dangerous PROJECT 2025 agenda – to raise even more! I told you the polls say we’re NECK-AND-NECK – and experts say this election is a complete toss-up! Now, I’m telling you we need a HISTORIC showing at our Democratic National Convention to build an INSURMOUNTABLE lead and restore our Democratic Trifecta.”
If you think about her push logically, this will be the last time she needs money, right? After all, the lead will be “INSURMOUNTABLE,” and she wouldn’t use caps lock if she weren’t telling the truth, right? Once something becomes “INSURMOUNTABLE” it’s over.
The Harris/Walz campaign isn’t any better. They came out with one under the subject, “We’re specifically asking, Derek.” What is she asking? For $25.
It opens, “$25, Derek. That’s how much we’re asking grassroots supporters to give right now. If that’s all you need to hear, we’re tracking donations at this link: (deleted because screw them) Otherwise, let us explain.”
Don’t you love the “If that’s all you need to hear” bit? What kind of drone simply grabs their bank card the second a politician asks for cash like Pavlov’s dog when they hear a bell?
Who would write such a thing? Someone with absolute contempt for their audience, that’s who.
“As you read this, Kamala and Tim are starting to get pummeled with attacks from the MAGA Right,” the email continues. “They’re doing it on Fox News. They’re doing it online. They’re spreading lies and misinformation about our campaign and this election. And last quarter, the Trump campaign raised $331 MILLION. No joke. That’s why we’re asking for your help. Now, we know you might be wondering: Can one $25 donation really fight back against all of that? Yes. The answer is yes -- absolutely yes. Because by the time you read this, lots and lots of people have already given their $25. Now, they’re counting on you to do the same.”
I have to give $25 because other suckers gave $25 and they’re counting on me? I wouldn’t pee on those people if they were on fire, why would I have about their expectations for me?
It’s all made up, of course, but my sentiment is real, especially the part about the fire.
It’s a hard sell, a full-court press by the left to shove people into opening their wallets so their politicians don’t have to get real jobs, which we all know if difficult in the Biden/Harris economy.
But they don’t really have to worry about that stuff, there are a lot of very dumb people in the country who this stuff works on. Democrats will be flush with cash because, while confidence inspires, panic and pressure work too, at least on the weak-willed.
