I have resisted trying that artificial intelligence program to this point, mostly because I found the concept of chatting with long dead historical figures and college students using it to do their homework to be absurd. I finally broke down last night. Having heard so much about it, I decided to give it a shot. But how?
I’m a fan of John Lennon, but the idea of pretending to chat with him seems pathetic. In fact, all examples I could come up with came back to that same conclusion. So I decided to see if it could capture me.
I registered, logged in, then asked ChatGPT, “Can you write a column in the style of Derek Hunter?”
“Sure, I can try my best to write a column in the style of Derek Hunter,” it replied. “Just to clarify, Derek Hunter is a conservative commentator and author known for his bold opinions and straightforward writing style.” Not bad sounding, though I’d toss in that the style is more conversational and contains a lot of humor, but what does a fake being know about humor?
Then came this, “Here's my attempt: Title: Democrats' Failed Policies are Killing the American Dream.” OK, I guess. Not a terrible title, but it doesn’t exactly grab you by what trans women (who are totally real women but require the prefix “trans” so as to avoid any confusion should someone check under the hood) tuck back as far as they can, and headlines matter.
But what about the substance; the body? It was ok, nothing special. No humor, but nothing stupid either. Very, well, robotic. I’ll give it this: it has better grammar than I do. I am why God created editors. Dyslexia can have that effect, but so can writing straight through in a stream of consciousness as it occurs to you. I recommend neither to any aspiring writers out there.
One other issue with what the computer came up with was the piece was short, only 383 words. A column should be a minimum of 700 words (some places only want 600, but still). Mine tend to run 1000 or more, my first columns when I started at Townhall were more than 3500.
Other than a lack of humor and grammar mistakes, what was really missing was a soul. I don’t mean that like Barry White, I mean it as in just plain human. There was a point, sort of (I didn’t ask for a piece on a specific topic, which may be part of the problem), but there wasn’t any meat on the bones of it. You’ll see what I mean in a minute, but it reads like something a machine trying to impersonate a person would come up with. Some people say I’m cold and indifferent in my writing myself, but those people don’t matter to me and I don’t care what they think…
Seriously, however, the piece has a point, technically, but not much of a purpose. Maybe that’s why it’s so short. Were this column about using AI to craft the best column possible I would have made a much more specific request, but this is about a first pass and where AI is on its own.
With that in mind, here’s with ChatGPT came up with:
It's no secret that Democrats love to talk about the American Dream - that mythic ideal of prosperity and opportunity that has motivated generations of Americans. But while they may pay lip service to this cherished ideal, the policies they promote are doing more to kill the American Dream than any foreign adversary ever could.
Take the Biden administration, for example. They claim to be focused on rebuilding the middle class and helping working families, but their actions tell a very different story. From their disastrous handling of the border crisis to their reckless spending and job-killing regulations, they're doing everything they can to undermine the very foundations of our economy.
Let's start with the border. Thanks to the Biden administration's open borders policies, we're seeing an unprecedented surge of illegal immigrants flooding into our country. Not only is this putting a massive strain on our resources, but it's also hurting American workers by driving down wages and taking away jobs. Democrats claim to care about the working class, but their policies are only making life harder for hard working Americans.
And then there's the Democrats' reckless spending. The trillions of dollars they're throwing around like confetti might make for good headlines, but they're doing nothing to help the average American. In fact, all that spending is just driving up inflation and making it harder for people to afford the basics like food, housing, and healthcare. Democrats love to talk about "social justice," but what about economic justice for the middle class?
Finally, let's not forget about the Democrats' job-killing regulations. From their disastrous energy policies to their attacks on small businesses, they're doing everything they can to make it harder for people to make a living. It's no wonder so many Americans are struggling to get by these days - the Democrats have made it nearly impossible for anyone to achieve the American Dream.
In conclusion, the Democrats may talk a big game about the American Dream, but their policies are doing more to destroy it than anything else. If we want to truly rebuild the middle class and restore economic opportunity in this country, we need to reject the Democrats' failed policies and embrace a new vision for America. Only then can we truly make the American Dream a reality for all.
It’s coherent, but not to any real end. And it’s boring. A lot of repetition of words and sentiments. But nothing special.
Do I think I could, in a pinch, use this program to write a column for me? Not really. Do I think I could have used it in college to get past a professor who’d checked out? Yes, I do.
Whatever this becomes, and it could become a lot of different things, none of them appear particularly helpful to people not looking for a shortcut or a way to pass time while stoned. The real problem isn’t the technology and what it can do, at least not yet, it’s that our society is producing so many people very much interested in shortcuts and looking to pass time while stoned. We didn’t really need AI to tell us that.
Derek Hunter is the host of a free daily podcast (subscribe!), host of a daily radio show, and author of the book, Outrage, INC., which exposes how liberals use fear and hatred to manipulate the masses, and host of the weekly “Week in F*cking Review” podcast where the news is spoken about the way it deserves to be. Follow him on Twitter at @DerekAHunter.