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OPINION
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You’re Super-Special, Now Give Me Money

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AP Photo/Mark Lennihan

The pathways into people’s wallets are endless for people without scruples. Someone willing to do anything for a buck will literally do anything for a buck – that Nigerian prince needed your bank account information didn’t materialize out of the kindness of the scammers behind it, it came from people counting on the stupidity of a small percentage of the human race and the ease of sending electronic communications to huge numbers of people. Even if you only hit 1 percent of suckers, if you send it to 10 million people you will be in the money. Emails scamming is a volume business, and the left knows this all too well.

One way to open people’s wallets is to convince them they’re special, part of a small club chosen because they are them, and they matter. “Attention: You’re one of [3] Democrats from your area selected to rate Hillary Clinton. Without your response, our data will be invalid. Please respond before 11:59 PM,” a recent email from the group “National Democratic Training Committee” opens. How special can you get, being only one of three! 

Obviously, that’s a lie. But it works on people, or at least has to. Every group does it. These people in the fundraising racket don’t emulate each other because everyone is failing at the job. 

“Hillary Clinton has demonstrated an unrelenting commitment to holding the Republican Party accountable. We think she is an incredibly admirable politician, but we have no idea how local Democrats feel about her. So please take 2 minutes to respond,” they begged. Naturally, every link to any of these “surveys” leads to a donation page where “giving” is the only way to complete the entire process.

To illustrate just how dumb these liberals know a segment of their base to be, note this email from the same group – the National Democratic Training Committee – from just one week earlier.  It opens, “Attention: You’re one of [3] Democrats from your area selected to grade Michael Moore. Without your response, our data will be invalid. Please respond before 11:59 PM.” 

They couldn’t even be bothered to change the format. You’d think someone would be on staff to type up these emails and would, just to break up the monotony or to avoid being seen as incredibly lazy by their bosses, type out “three” rather than keep it in brackets, but you’d be wrong. 

To put the cherry on top, the email concludes, “Michael Moore has courageously called for Trump to face justice. But now Republicans are attacking him for his bravery, so we urgently need to know what local Democrats think about his work. Please take 2 minutes to respond.” The words are slightly different, the format is copy/paste. 

While I could have given you example after example of the same email with a different person as the subject, the same group does use different formats on some occasions, usually when using current politicians as their bait. 

In an email inviting me (and only me, because I’m special and have been chosen) to join the Pete Buttigieg “legacy board,” whatever the hell that is, they use the exclusivity concept again, only this time so sloppily as to be a joke.

“Congratulations! Attention: You are only [1] of [2] Democrats selected to represent your area in our exclusive Pete Buttigieg Legacy Board,” the email begins. “Pete Buttigieg is a champion for our Democratic values. And as Secretary of Transportation, he’s spearheading the largest infrastructure plan in a generation! But Republicans are trying to TANK his approval rating and are calling on him to RESIGN. That’s why we’re conducting an exclusive Pete Buttigieg Legacy Board. And you are the only representative from your area, so your participation is especially important to our data.”

Notice the lazy screw up? “You are only [1] of [2] Democrats selected to represent your area” it opens, but it ends with, “And you are the only representative from your area, so your participation is especially important to our data.”

What happened to the other guy? Did he die from the first sentence in the opening paragraph to the last? Poor bastard. Or, much more likely, did these lazy con artists not bother to proofread what they send out because they know there are enough idiots who won’t notice something so obvious six sentences apart that they’ll still raise money off of it? 

The answer is pretty obvious, isn’t it?

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