Pessimistic Prognostication for 2014

Posted: Jan 14, 2014 12:01 AM
Pessimistic Prognostication for 2014

As we enter 2014, it should aptly be referred to as the year of Albert Einstein because I’m most assured that certain things will definitely remain the same.

Indeed, there will be noise and jostling for position as John Boehner and his Band of Merry Men and Women loudly proclaim their indignation regarding the continued spending habits of President Obama and the Democrats. Yet, in the 12th hour, the Speaker will appear in front of the microphones and proclaim for the good of the nation (and his reelection campaign) that a budget deal has been struck and that all discussions regarding budget cuts will be postponed until a more opportune time presents itself. After the television cameras and microphones are put away, the Boehner group will adjourn to the Congressional dining room for cocktails.

I’m also most certain that at the first sign of stock market trouble, newly appointed Federal Reserve Chairwoman Janet Yellen&Screamin’ will proclaim for the good of the nation that the $10 billion monthly reduction in the bond buying program will be rescinded, and for a brief period of time, monthly QE will actually be increased by many billions more. The exact dollar figure of the increased monthly purchases will not be announced since that would disturb the Fed’s independence from prying eyes in Congress.

During 2014, we more than likely for the good of the nation will reach an unemployment rate of less than 5%. The Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) will have determined that it is justified to continue eliminating unemployed individuals from the participation rate as it has been concluded that most nonworking citizens have actually been vacationing in the Hamptons, Florida, the Bahamas, the Southwest, and Hawaii.

In harmony with Congress, the Fed, and the BLS, the War Department, better known as the Department of Homeland Security, will ultimately determine for the good of the nation that the African continent and specifically heretofore unknown countries such as Gabon, represent a dire threat to U.S. security and must be dealt with by utilizing drones, no-fly zones, and certain financial and trade restrictions. Moreover, Secretary of State John Kerry will continue his impassioned plea for military action against Gabon — just as he did last year regarding Syria — and Kerry will remind the media that this time he’s quite serious.

Yes, 2014 will be more of the same as the typical investor will drink all the Kool-Aid that Wall Street can formulate, while Wall Street also attempts to make you believe that trees grow to the sky forever.

Of course Albert Einstein must be my poster boy for 2014, after all, Einstein said, “The height of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”