Mike Adams

The GOP recently discovered some once-secret memos exchanged between top Democratic operatives. These memos have revealed three interesting facts: 1) Democrats engaged in systematic character assassination in order to keep Miguel Estrada from being appointed as the first Hispanic justice on the U.S. Supreme Court. 2) The same thing was done to Alberto Gonzales for the same reason. 3) This was done so the Dems could eventually appoint the Supreme Court’s first Hispanic justice.

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The Dems’ success at “solving” the problem of Hispanic exclusion from the Supreme Court was brought about by first excluding Hispanics from the Supreme Court. Now, they are planning to use similar strategies to help “solve” other problems.

Sources also indicated that they intend to launch a nation-wide effort to repeal the Thirteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. Shortly thereafter, President Obama will sign an executive order banning slavery. This will help the Dems improve on their 92% showing among black voters in 2008. After the Dems capture at least 99% of the black vote in 2012 they plan to rename themselves the “Party of Lincoln.”

Other sources indicate that President Obama plans to increase the budget by 400% in the first year of his second term in office. He will then reduce the budget by 50%. This will show his party’s commitment to fiscal responsibility.

As part of the present economic stimulus plan, the Dems are about to tack on five billion dollars to bring gay bath houses back to San Francisco. After the number of AIDS cases rises dramatically, the Dems plan to introduce new legislation to close the bath houses. This will show their commitment to the gay population, which, in turn, will deepen its loyalty to the party of Pelosi.

The Obama administration will, of course, pay for the new economic stimulus plan by increasing taxes. The tax increases will force the few remaining stay-at-home moms into the workforce. The administration will build new government daycare centers to help taxpayers raise their children.

The effects of lack of parental supervision on juvenile delinquency will be countered by building more prisons. The effects of lack of parental supervision on literacy will be countered by funding more prison literacy programs.

Mike Adams

Mike Adams is a criminology professor at the University of North Carolina Wilmington and author of Letters to a Young Progressive: How To Avoid Wasting Your Life Protesting Things You Don't Understand.