But the phony "conservative" back-stabber, who has spent the last four years slavering over Barack Obama like a One Direction groupie and trashing the tea party like an MSNBC junkie, isn't fooling anyone.
Lately, Brooks has been given to dispensing passive-aggressive advice to GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney. His column this week titled "Thurston Howell Romney" called Romney "a kind, decent man" -- and then shredded him to pieces as a "country club" elitist who "doesn't know much about the culture of America," "knows nothing about ambition and motivation," and is "running a depressingly inept presidential campaign."
Eddie Haskell Brooks, along with fellow GOP bubble-dwellers Peggy Noonan and Bill Kristol, eagerly piled on Romney over his "secret video" remarks contrasting the nation's makers and takers. Liberal outlets embraced these chin-pulling tools -- elevating them as "key" Republican voices who speak for the right.
Despite the best efforts of the Democratic-professional media complex to gin up faux-rage over Romney's remarks, however, several polls show that voters agree with Romney's fundamental critique of the indulgent Democratic politics of victimhood, identity and dependency. Yep, Brooks has the pulse of mainstream America -- direct from his hallowed bubble at the Fishwrap of Record.
Brooks shares all he knows about "ambition," "motivation" and the "culture of America" through regular appearances with the insular clique of conservative-bashing snobs at taxpayer-supported "PBS NewsHour." A cursory glance at Brooks' biography shows that he has spent the majority of his life in New York City and Washington, D.C. He has worked for a raft of employers from The Washington Times to The Wall Street Journal to The Weekly Standard to The New York Times.
But unlike Romney, Brooks has never actually run a business of his own, managed a massive private entity, governed a state or overseen a campaign for national office.
He does have quite an impressive record, though. If by record you mean sucking up to empty suit Barack Obama, mocking grass-roots conservatives as "teens" and defending his cocktail party mates in establishment journalism.
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