Kurt  Schlichter

Whether we like it or not – and we don’t – there’s a significant chance that Chris Christie will be the 2016 Republican nominee. Perhaps he can use a few helpful hints from the GOP’s Tea Party/Constitutional Conservative/Actual Conservative wing.

Let’s start by establishing a baseline: We don’t like you and we don’t trust you.

Now, that’s not a deal breaker. You feel the same way about us. There is nothing that says we conservatives can’t grow to like and/or trust you. Maybe we just got off on the wrong foot. So, in that spirit, let’s share our feelings.

We feel you’re in it for yourself and that if you get elected your administration will be a festival of squishiness that would make George W. Bush look like Ted Cruz.

Getting up to talk about Mitt Romney and talking about yourself? Classless. Getting in a micturition contest with conservative warrior Rand Paul? Lame. And don’t delude yourself that we are mad because you hugged the President on the eve of the election. Our beef was your evident glee, as if you were publicly repudiating our imagined “irrational hatred.” We had beefs with Mitt Romney, but we respected him as a decent man and we saw your act as a cheap backstab designed to promote yourself when he needed you most.

Hey, you’re from Jersey. You can handle this real talk, right?

We think that you think we’re stupid. Call it a feeling or a vibe, but we are used to a certain class of Republican acting as if conservatives are drooling morons. Inevitably, these same GOP geniuses are the ones who prattled on and on about the electability of McCain and Romney. Note that they’re also giddy about you.

Whenever the fawning mainstream media – let’s see how fawning it is once you start endangering Hillary – interviews you, you always have a long list of things we conservatives have done wrong. You never offer us much credit for the little things we’ve done right, like – oh, I dunno – winning back the House.

We suspect your attitude demonstrates a willingness to disregard our concerns. After all, who cares what a bunch of dummies thinks, right? Just keep in mind that if these “dummies” stay home, you get to spend 2017 running out the clock in the Garden State while being the Curley of the Three Stooges of GOP presidential failure.

You have a real problem. Right now, a lot of conservatives – I need to emphasize, a lot – are threatening to stay home if you get nominated. Go ask Presidents McCain and Romney how that works out on election night.

Now, let’s talk about what you can do about it.


Kurt Schlichter

Kurt Schlichter (Twitter: @KurtSchlichter) was personally recruited to write conservative commentary by Andrew Breitbart. He is a successful Los Angeles trial lawyer, a veteran with a masters in Strategic Studies from the United States Army War College, and a former stand-up comic.