Agency Girls Gone Wild

Katie Kieffer
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Posted: Jul 08, 2013 12:01 AM
Agency Girls Gone Wild

Agency girls are going wild. Obama’s leading ladies make students partying on the beach look like amateurs.

Misbehavin’ is a resume booster in Washington, D.C. But not the kind of misbehaving that you might think. There are no wet t-shirt contests. It’s a buttoned-up misbehavin’—personified by middle-aged matrons on a mission for complete control over your life.

Here are is my annual edition of ‘Agency Girls Gone Wild:’

1.) Lois Lerner:

Lerner is the IRS Director of Exempt Organizations. Right now, she is on a paid summer vacation. You got one day of paid vacation last week for Independence Day. She’s getting the whole summer. Last week, Sarah Palin summed it up well on Fox News: “She’s not doing a lick of work.”

Remember, in early May, a big IRS scandal was about to burst? During the 2012 election campaigns, the IRS unethically targeted and delayed the approval of conservative non-profit organizations. (Obama couldn’t let any tea partiers influence the minds of swing voters like minorities, young people and women! Those were his votes.)

Well, an Inspector General’s report on this scandal was about to go public and the head honchos at the IRS were sweating bricks trying to figure out a way to delicately inform the public of their impropriety. IRS Commissioner Steve Miller reportedly helped Lerner concoct a scheme to mitigate the scandal by slowly leaking it to the public at a May 10 American Bar Association Conference.

The day before the ABA conference, Lerner picked up her phone and rang a D.C tax lawyer acquaintance of hers named Celia Roady. Lerner asked Roady to plant a question at the ABA conference.

The next day, when Roady asked the question, Lerner rattled off the remarks she and Miller had prepared regarding the scandal. The plan failed: News of the IRS’ unethical behavior immediately left the public shocked and furious.

When Lerner was questioned by the press, she dug her hole deeper.

Lerner: "I said that about a quarter of the cases that were selected for full developments had either 'tea party' or 'patriot' in their name."

Reporter Tom Costello of NBC News: "OK. Sorry. Thank you for the clarification. But that would be a quarter of the 300 then so we are talking 75 or so?"

Lerner: "That's correct. Is that a quarter? That's correct. Thank you. I'm not good at math."

By now Lerner has probably realized that 75 goes into 300 exactly four times. Certainly it is hard to do differential equations in one’s head under pressure, but, c'mon, how can she be a Director at an agency that collects taxes and admittedly not understand basic arithmetic?

Lerner is now on paid administrative leave from the IRS. Hopefully she is using her time off to taking some remedial arithmetic courses along with a crash course on ethics at a local community college. More than likely, she is on a beach reading mommy porn like 50 Shades of Gray.

2.) Sara Hall Ingram

Ms. Ingram looks like she lives in a library. But she’s not a sweet little bookworm like Belle from Beauty and the Beast. (To make this assessment is not to judge a book by its cover. It’s judging a book by its contents. If Ms. Ingram were a book, her contents would be quite despicable.)

Good thing Ms. Ingram rarely smiles or people might have suspected Obama of playing games behind Michelle’s back. After all, Ingram made 165 visits to the White House between 2011 and February of 2013. Is there really that much “business” for one woman to do at the White House?

Apparently there is a boatload of work to do at the White House if you are in charge of administering ObamaCare, which is Ingram’s current role within the IRS; the woman in charge of administering the unconstitutional job-killer of the century is basically Obama’s political mistress.

Her previous role was to oversee Ms. Lerner and she did a terrible job of that as well, as the Treasury Inspector General for Tax Administration pointed out in the report: “Inappropriate Criteria Were Used to Identify Tax-Exempt Applications for Review” on May 14, 2013.

Hall Ingram brought home over $100,000 just in bonusesduring the time that she oversaw the tea-party targeting at the IRS and Obama most likely personally signed off on her bonuses, reported the Washington Examiner.

3.) Beth Tucker

This lady wears black dresses and pearls and tells Fox News that she is a “civil servant.” From the way she presents herself, you would think she were a widow in mourning who volunteers in her community on the weekends. Far from it.

Beth Tucker is the Deputy IRS Commissioner. As one of the IRS’ highest-ranking officials, Tucker partook in a closed-door meeting with the Inspector General back in May of 2012. In this meeting, the Inspector General explained that the IRS was wrongfully targeting conservative groups.

Whether Tucker knew of this targeting activity before May of 2012 was irrelevant. The relevant fact is that this self-declared “civil servant” did nothing. Tucker was more like Obama’s servant. Her silence helped him slide into the White House a few months later by silencing the voice of the tea party.

Honorable Mentions:

We do not have enough space to get to all the wild girls in D.C. agencies, but a few deserve honorable mentions:

Victoria Nuland: This State Department spokeswoman wanted the CIA’s Benghazi talking points scrubbed squeaky clean to prevent the public from discovering the incompetence of her group. She feared that Congress would: “…beat [up] the State Department for not paying attention to Agency warnings."

Hillary Clinton: She is the worst agency girl in town. Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is the infamous instigator of a secret gun-running program to Syrian rebels that most likely is responsible for the deaths of four Americans on September, 11, 2012.

Let’s hope these girls aren’t, as Christina Aguilera might croon, “too dirty to clean their acts up.”