What happened to the bulldogs in the media? When it came to covering the Benghazi terrorist attack, the media sounded like a pack of Chihuahuas.

Teach gun safety in classrooms and leave sex education to parents. Plan B won’t save young people from incurable STDs, but guns will protect women and children from being raped or murdered. The more young people know about guns, the safer our society will be.

Liberals don’t want honest Americans like you to have guns. Liberals just want to arm foreign rebels in crapshoot attempts to “end global violence.”

President Obama would make a terrible stand-up comedian. He would need a teleprompter to deliver his jokes. And he would need a traveling caravan of smiling children to serve as live props.

Recycling is fine. Conservation is fine. But sometimes greenies cross the line. They expect you and me to go jobless and hungry so they can save a porcupine.

Look out Sen. Al Franken; talk radio host Jason Lewis will soon replace you in the U.S. Senate. Conservative-libertarian talk radio host Jason Lewis is seriously entertaining a run against Minnesota Sen. Al Franken in 2014.

Pause and reflect on this hypocrisy: The Department of Justice prosecutes young hackers who use computers to promote free speech while highly educated adults within the DOJ threaten to use lethal drone force against American citizens without due process. Which is worse?

President Obama and Sandra Fluke both call themselves lawyers and “reproductive rights activists” without giving you any indication that they understand the Constitution or basic biology.

Three brilliant black leaders are tuning out Obama and the black community needs to tune into these leaders.

“What is CPAC 2013? There is an app in the iTunes store called CPAC 2013. You must know something about this event!”

El Chapo haunts the streets of Chicago. His ghost hordes cash in Los Angeles stash houses. His shadow darkens underground tunnels between Mexico and the U.S. His spirit drives his clan to bloodshed. The world’s most-wanted kingpin may be dead. But the Sinaloa cartel will thrive until America legalizes drugs.

You are a reality star. You might think no one sees you in your fenced-in backyard grilling hamburgers in your boxer shorts. But government drones equipped with HD cameras are filming a new reality show starring you: “Drone Dynasty.”

Can you hear the humming of a lawnmower in the sky? It is a government drone. Your mission is to prevent this unmanned aircraft from droning out your freedom.

Gays can be leaders. Women can be leaders. Without realizing it, I think gays and women inadvertently work against their own objective of equality when they force private organizations to support gay and female leaders.

Who knew? My parents are cool. Homeschooling is becoming hipster.

The way to end abortion is to show women that abortion strips them of freedom. Abortion does not preserve choice; abortion pollutes choice.

Guns, guns, guns. Love, love, love. America needs guns and love.

There are a few good men. And by “a few,” I mean five.

Here are twelve comical but true resolutions that every liberal should make for 2013.

We wish each other "peace on earth." Wishing is not enough. We must act on this wish by promoting capitalism on earth.