Jon Sanders


SPENDING SCARED: WHITE HOUSE PUTS OFF RELEASE OF BUDGET UPDATE...
RECOVERY.GOV // AWARDED: $2,531,600 FOR 'HAM, WATER ADDED, COOKED, FROZEN, SLICED, 2-LB'...
RECOVERY.GOV // AWARDED: $1,191,200 FOR '2 POUND FROZEN HAM SLICED'...
RECOVERY.GOV // AWARDED: $1,562,568 FOR 'MOZZARELLA CHEESE'...
RECOVERY.GOV // AWARDED: $5,708,260 FOR 'PROCESS CHEESE'...
RECOVERY.GOV // AWARDED: $16,784,272 FOR 'CANNED PORK'...

— Headlines on the Drudge Report, July 20, 2009.

I buy ham
I buy ham
Scam-I-Am.

A scam for ham?
A scam for ham?
Is stimulus
A scam for ham?

Would you spend
Greenbacks on ham?

I see no problem,
Scam-I-Am.
I sure would spend
Greenbacks on ham.

Would you buy ham
Here or there?

I would buy ham
Here and there.
Stimulus dough goes
Everywhere.
I see no problem,
Scam-I-Am.
I sure would spend
Greenbacks on ham.

Would you buy ham
By the pound?
Would you buy ham
For a thou?

I sure would buy ham
By the pound.
I sure would buy ham
For a thou.
I would buy ham
Here or there.
Stimulus dough goes
Everywhere.
I see no problem,
Scam-I-Am.
I sure would spend
Greenbacks on ham.

Would you buy ham
By the box?
Even if it's
Told on Fox?

I sure would buy ham
By the box,
Even if it's
Told on Fox.
I sure would buy ham
By the pound.
I sure would buy ham
For a thou.
I would buy ham
Here and there.
Stimulus dough goes
Everywhere.
I see no problem,
Scam-I-Am.
I sure would spend
Greenbacks on ham.

Would you? Could you?
Buy those cars?
GM! Chrysler!
They need czars.

I'd love to
Buy and
Run those cars.
You may like them.
You will see.
Now I'll make them
Nice to trees.

For unions! For GM and trees!
And Chrysler! (But Ford won't let me!)

And I would buy ham by the box,
Even if it's told on Fox.
And I would buy ham by the pound.
And I would buy ham for a thou.
And I would buy ham here and there.
Stimulus dough goes everywhere!
I see no problem, Scam-I-Am.
I sure would spend greenbacks on ham.

Some trains! Some trains!
Some trains! Some trains!
Could you, would you,
Fund some trains?

Why not some trains? Economies
Need stimulus! Spending's a breeze!


Jon Sanders

Jon Sanders is associate director of research at the John Locke Foundation in Raleigh, N.C.