John McCaslin

OK, let's get this straight.

Former vice-presidential candidate Geraldine Ferraro maintains that if you go back to 1984 and "if my name was Gerard Ferraro instead of Geraldine Ferraro, I would have never been chosen as a vice-presidential candidate."

So why isn't Mrs. Ferraro saying the same thing about Hillary Rodham Clinton?

In other words, would Mrs. Clinton, based on Mrs. Ferraro's own argument, be one of the two finalists for the Democratic presidential nomination were she not a woman?

Highly unlikely, if you agree with Mrs. Ferraro. Were Mrs. Clinton a man and not a woman, she would not have married Bill Clinton, become first lady and ridden her husband's coattails into the U.S. Senate and now the race for the White House.

Mrs. Ferraro, who supports Mrs. Clinton for the nomination, might be better to argue that Barack Obama doesn't have the experience that is required to answer the White House hot line at 3 in the morning.

Frozen fish

"Another entry in the 'couldn't make this stuff up but they do anyway' files," says Christopher C. Horner, the best-selling author on global warming (or lack thereof) and counsel at the Competitive Enterprise Institute. "Global warming will cause fish to go deaf."

He wasn't kidding, showing us the article in the New Scientist Environment.

"As one wag e-mailed me, in an ice age, fish will have excellent hearing, though of course they'll all be dead. A play on the regulators' insistence that we all die perfectly healthy," Mr. Horner notes.

Media darlings

It's been an amazing journey for former Capitol Hill staffer Kevin Long, for 10 years press secretary to Rep. Dan Burton, Indiana Republican, who later became senior staff member of the Oversight and Government Reform Committee, which was responsible for oversight of the federal counternarcotics effort.

Mr. Long was among those who made recommendations on aid packages for the Colombian national police, including drug-fighting Black Hawk helicopters. Soon, he was an independent contractor working at the Pentagon, in Afghanistan and Colombia.

It was while in Colombia, Mr. Long tells Inside the Beltway, that he heard comments made by then-Minnesota Timberwolves forward Kevin Garnett about having guns and ammunition at home and being ready to go to war — the basketball player's attempt to describe being ready for the second game of the NBA playoffs.

"That's how it began — watching 'SportsCenter' in a bar in Bogota," says Mr. Long, who no sooner returned from his latest covert operation and started up MVP Sports Media Training, a niche public relations firm that helps athletes improve their interview skills with the press.

John McCaslin

John McCaslin is a contributing columnist on and author of Inside The Beltway: Offbeat Stories, Scoops, and Shenanigans from around the Nation's Capital .

Be the first to read John McCaslin's column. Sign up today and receive delivered each morning to your inbox.