John Andrews

Attention, liberals. A new book urges that in order to help Obama improve our country, you should adopt a dog, quit smoking, and conciliate conservatives. But don't rush into it. So far the President himself has only accomplished the first of those.

The inspiring ideas are from “50 Ways You Can Help Obama Change America,” brought out last month by Michael Huttner and Jason Salzman, two lefties in Denver with time on their hands. Huttner and his ProgressNow group wanted no part of change back when I was pushing it as Colorado Senate President, but that was then. He’s an author now, blurbed by the late Ted Kennedy and the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream guys.

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“50 Ways” is like a kitchen-sink sundae, a nutritional zero with ingredients from the obvious to the ludicrous. “Support political art” no doubt sounded hip when the authors were miming a Paul Simon song and grooving on Barack posters. It has an ugly Soviet ring since the failed propaganda coup at the National Endowment for the Arts.

“Find a town hall, y’all” strikes a plaintive note after the Alinskyites had their bell rung on health care during the August recess. “Get news that’s truly fair and balanced” has a whiny copycat sound as well. The green envy pays pathetic tribute to Fox News.

I come to praise Huttner and Salzman, however, not to bury them. As someone who loves lists, I take stimulus from theirs – the first good stimulus we’ve had from this crowd. Now those of us who don’t WANT to see the land of the free transformed can rise to the challenge with our own list. Here’s mine: “50 Ways You Can Help America Survive Obama.”

Cleave to the Constitution. Dust off the Declaration. Work harder. Save more. Borrow less. Repent, pray, get religion. Resist the divorce epidemic. Tithe to church and charities. Read the classics. Doubt judges and lawyers. Distrust the dinosaur media.

Assert our country’s goodness: America without apologies. Gird against radical Islam. Reject surrender in Afghanistan. Quarantine Iran. Defend Israel to the death. Revive NATO. Suspect Russia. Suspect China. Beware Chavez and Castro. See the United Nations for the dangerous fraud that it is. Secure the borders. Rearm urgently.

John Andrews

John Andrews is former president of the Colorado Senate and the author of "Responsibility Reborn: A Citizen's Guide to the Next American Century"