Doug Giles

The purveyors of porn have got to be chuffed after watching Memphis school kids hump (en masse) both the floor and each other during Mitchell High School’s “talent show” this month. Yep, it doesn’t look as if sellers of smut are going to be taking an additional night job to pay bills anytime soon because they have formally tapped the teenage market. At least in Memphis they have. Good job, Memphis.

And these kids weren’t the least bit shy about their peccadilloes either, folks. This crop of postmodern punks is proud of their penchants; they have been Porn Again, and they’re unashamed. They posted their vomit on YouTube under the moniker “Mitchell High School Memphis . . . Rape Dat Ho.” Rape that whore? Wow.

This cultural death knell wasn’t performed and filmed in some dark alley or private basement but at a government-funded public school. And it was executed in the face of certain spineless, numb nut, morally vacuous teachers and administrators, to boot. Yes, the kids bumped uglies, simulated oral sex acts and rape while some barely teen girls danced so provocatively they made Jenna Jameson look like a stocky, lazy-eyed seamstress with arthritis and a bum hip, all while the staff watched.

Like I said, business is looking good for the Smutmeisters. That is if the lecherous high school losers in Memphis represent teens across our formerly great land. And I’m afraid, generally speaking, that they do. A massive swath of American youth has turned into ravenous beasts, uncivil animals governed by the gibbering monkey within their pants.

I’m sorry. That was over the top. I apologize to animals everywhere because I know you have never acted like the addle-pate Darwinian leftovers in Memphis did. Please forgive me. I must confess that I have seen you many times while hunting, in full rut, acting with more dignity than these dingleberries. These particular humans are way worse than you, my four-legged friends. So for that, I am sorry. But I’m still going to hunt you and eat your back straps come this fall. No offense.

Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter. And check out his new book, Rise, Kill and Eat: A Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation.