"Better fled than red" is how one wag put it, explaining the blue-state of mind that now weighs expatriate-ism as a coping strategy against "Bush II: Red-state Nation." And who could argue? Why, the first lady only re-opened Pennsylvania Avenue this week so that tumbrels teeming with atheists could roll past the White House, horse hooves clopping, Bibles thumping, and on to the National Mall. I can see it now: John Ashcroft, in his final Patriot Act, torching a DVD-bonfire of "Fahrenheit 9/11" and "La Cage Aux Folles" while, defiantly, La Streisand speaks nearby. "We shall see the reign (glug) of witches pass, their (glug-glug) spells dissolve," she intones, quoting Thomas Jefferson from the watery middle of the former Reflecting Pool, recently gerrymandered into a witch-dunking pond by Tom DeLay.
OK, so only in their dreams -- or maybe a Michael Moore "documentary." The bottom line is that Bush-voters terrify Bush-haters. After all, they go to church. Or, worse, they don't go to church and are untroubled by co-conservatives who do. According to blue-state logic (hysteria), this means religious fanaticism is ascendant, theocracy is inevitable and Manhattan is expendable. Really. "Maybe the guys in power want us to be attacked," writes James Atlas in New York magazine -- in italics, which I guess is supposed to add whimsy to his grotesque observations. "What better way to get rid of all those noisome New Yorkers than to have an Al Qaeda dirty bomb explode in Grand Central at rush hour?"
A death worse than fate, maybe. But not for Bush-haters, some considerable number of whom regard Mr. Bush's re-election as being a calamity greater than the attacks of Sept. 11. To which I say, go. Leave. Be expatriates. But not just in somewhat "progressive" New Zealand, recently downgraded from American "ally" to American "friend." And not in more "progressive" Canada, where some provinces already sanction same-sex marriage and marijuana use. Only the best for our blue-state losers, only the most progressive haven in the world. I want to see all Americans who feel compelled to up and leave these United States because George W. Bush won the 2004 election emigrate to Holland.