Mr. Obama made yet another trip to Europe this week along with his stopover in the Middle East. Since Mr. Obama and his friends would like us to be more like Europeans, my wife and I recently went on a great explore to find out what life is really like in Europe and what changes we should expect.
Get out your bike because you will soon be riding it everywhere. That means you too, Grandma – no exceptions. The best way to cut down on that nasty CO2 is to chuck your cars and get on a two-wheeler. Of course, after a couple years with the government running two of our three major car companies, a bicycle may become an attractive alternative.
The Europeans have not quite caught on to bike helmets yet, but I am sure we can enlighten them. The problem with helmets occurs when you have all these young folks who ride while talking on their cell phones. You thought you were concerned about people driving while on a cell phone, then wait until you have 20 bikes bearing down on you with everyone talking to someone else. To get ahead of the curve here, I have developed and patented a bike helmet with built-in Bluetooth. It also has a sophisticated system where you can text message by blinking your eyes based on Morse code. There is nothing like recycling old things that still work.
Get ready to move to the city to make this happen. You cannot live in the suburbs or small towns anymore. We need to be more like Europe and all pile into big cities. To make this work, we need 35-40% of our population to be in a major city. France has Paris, Belgium has Brussels and Denmark has Copenhagen. Because the United States is so much larger we have to have more than one city – so I am figuring on six regional centers. They should be Los Angeles, Chicago, Dallas, New York, and Atlanta and let’s say Omaha. We need to all relocate so that enough of our population is in these cities and then all the national resources can be focused on those locations.
What comes next is every building being the exact same height. Building codes can be wonderful. You tell developers they can build five stories high and magically you have street after street of five-story buildings. Visit East Berlin sometime and see what the New World of Europe is like. Look forward to monotonous buildings with very similar character. But Amsterdam and Copenhagen and The Hague are all like that also (with a few rare exceptions).