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Monday, December 08, 2008
Dr. Miriam Grossman, M.D. :: Townhall.com Columnist
What Girls Want: An Edward Cullen to Love Them
by Dr. Miriam Grossman, M.D.
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What was the biggest suprise of Election Day?



American girls have a new heartthrob: a tall, gorgeous vampire who is in the eleventh grade. He thirsts for the blood of Bella, his human girlfriend, but learns to “just say no.”

What is it about Edward Cullen, the male protagonist of the blockbuster Twilight series, that sends girls from Atlanta to Anchorage swooning? I asked three teen girls I know.

Nava is 14. “He’s cute, and he’s really nice to Bella.”

Kayla is 16. “He’s caring, and genuine. He expresses his love, and risks his life to protect her. And he’s handsome.”

Tanya is 19. “Edward loves Bella and wants to be with her forever, so he controls himself. The self-discipline is very hard on him, but seeing her hurt would be even worse.”

Not bad, huh? Now if only the professionals running our country’s sex education could figure that out. Because that’s what the Twilight craze is about: a guy who adores his girl so much, he’ll do anything to protect her. A guy who won’t allow his girl to get hurt, even if it means saying “no” to himself. That’s what girls want.

Contrast that with Planned Parenthood’s description of the “perfect partner”. One of the leading providers of sex education, their online quiz lists 12 questions. “If you can answer ‘yes’ to all of them,” teens are told, “you may have a nearly perfect partner.”

The questions can be grouped into 3 categories. First: Is he caring and attentive? Second: Is he decent, honest, and considerate? The third category gets the most attention – 5 of the 12 questions: Does he know about birth control? Does he share responsibility for safer sex, and have std check-ups? Would he accompany you for a check-up, if you wanted? Have you discussed how you’d handle an unplanned pregnancy?

Perfect partner? Are you kidding? How about monogamy? How about a deep emotional connection? And what about commitment? Hello? Continued...
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About The Author
Miriam Grossman, M.D. is a board certified child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist. She is author of the new book "You're Teaching My Child What?"
 
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Reply # 1
Date: Aug 4, 2009 - 11:41 PM EST
Has the doctor even read the books?
Good job Jennifer!

I cannot believe a medical doctor would use Edward Cullen as an example for someone teenage girls should want as their partners. Excuse me? Has the good doctor even read the books? Edward is abusive, he's a stalker, he's controlling. Not someone I want for my teenage daughter.

Unfortunately, many girls are now looking for their own Edward. Oh, not because he chooses to abstain from sex with Bella, but because he's HOT. I've had a thirty-one-year-old friend tell me that she would "let Edward abuse her anytime" because he's "HOT". The three quotes used in the article are not the norm (although two do mention that what they like is that Edward is "cute" and "handsome"...so shallow). The actor who portrays Edward Cullen in the movie, Robert Pattinson, has been physically attacked on the streets by mobs of screaming fans. Yeah, they want him because the FICTIONAL character he plays controls himself when it comes to sex. Right.

If any abstinence occurs because of Twilight, it will because there is no man out there that can measure up to Edward's perfection in the eyes of our teenage girls. The books and what I saw of the movie before I fell asleep (twice) ooze sex and our daughters, nieces, sisters and even mothers are lapping up every bit of it.

Personally, I chose to educate both of my daughters myself (they are now seventeen and twenty-two). However, the sex education classes they had at school helped them to "just say no" as well. Nothing can act as a better deterent than pictures of genital warts. FACT not FICTION.
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Reply # 2
Date: Mar 10, 2009 - 2:36 AM EST
Edward Cullen- Creep Continued

He told her originally that they couldn't have sex while she was human, because he could break her bones (and vampirize her according to the rules of that universe, but that's never touched on). They do not discuss ways they could minimize this risk. When he discovers that he has brutalized her during sex, he refuses to talk about it and refuses to have sex with her- she literally has to cry and beg for another sexual encounter. That's not a healthy relationship in the least. If married couples can't discuss sex in a frank manner, then who can?
Girls need to be able to have discussions about sex with their partners, even if the discussion consists of 'I'm not ready'. Education is always better than ignorance, and a girl educated well about sex and understanding exactly why she is not ready for a sexual relationship is in a much stronger position. After all, it doesn't take a terribly clever boy to ask a girl why she she's waiting- and it's much easier to hold ground if her argument isn't 'I don't know- my parents told me to'.
These books are full of poisonous messages, and are definitely not good for the audience they're aimed at. I have pdf copies of the series: Edward is referred to as 'beautiful' over 200 times. He is referred to as having a good personality/mind ONCE! It's worse for Bella... she's never referred to as 'good', 'kind', or 'smart' at all. In fact, Edward calls her foolish several times. I would't want a daughter of mine to be with a man who is with her because he thinks she'd make a terribly tasty little treat, even if he does control himself until after they're married. I would want her to be loved for her mind and spirit, not her body.
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