It’s been a fixture on the Potomac River for years. It’s a boat that drives fear into the hearts of Washington, DC’s liberal residents. Okay, maybe not fear, but it drives them up the wall. With the summer months on the horizon, it will be making marine expeditions to accomplish two primary objectives: ensuring its occupants have fun and infuriating as many soy boy libs as possible in the district.
Full disclosure: I have been on a couple of voyages on the No Woke Zone, and yes, the liberals in DC cannot stand the pro-MAGA flags it carries with total pride. On Sunday, the vessel encountered the annual 10-mile Cherry Blossom race, where they opted to give its participants a MAGA boost. The reception was total mayhem. One runner pulled his pants down to moon the No Wake Zone—he inadvertently exposed the face of the Democratic Party.
Our own Corey Inganamort captains this ship: Townhall officially has a navy.
He gave us a detailed report on the cherry blossom raid:
Why did the runners of Washington DC’s cherry blossom 10M not like my Tom Homan and @DOGE @elonmusk flag???!
— Corey Inganamort 🪚🌴🪚 (@TheBirdWords) April 6, 2025
Volume up! 🔊 pic.twitter.com/tpFaObnHde
The face of the Democratic Party: pic.twitter.com/R5QyU6Ont4
— Corey Inganamort 🪚🌴🪚 (@TheBirdWords) April 6, 2025
The “No Woke Zone” set sail with a crew full of patriots, showing our support for border czar Tom Homan and Elon Musk’s DOGE. We started the morning at 7:15 a.m. with mimosas, bloody Marys, Miller Lites, and Alp, blaring Vanilla Ice’s ICE ICE BABY while heading to the shoreline of East Potomac Park, where the Cherry Blossom 10M runners were on their 8th mile of the race.
It was there we debuted my 12ft by 8ft custom-made Tom Homan thug-life flag, which, if I do so myself, looks phenomenal, and a DOGE flag supporting Elon Musk. The vibes were immaculate as the runners passed us, many giving us the middle finger. “How could anyone oppose deporting rapists and murderers and also oppose government efficiency,” I thought?
But then I remembered we were in Washington, DC, where lobbyists, politicians, and federal workers benefit from crime and corruption. We kept counting the middle fingers and curses thrown our way. We were up to 269 when one sixty-something-year-old man called me a f*cking fascist, and as any mature adult would do, pulled down his pants and mooned us.
It further confirmed that I, who is NOT like this man, am in the right. There were children present. I hope he’s identified and arrested for indecent exposure. DC is a cesspool, and today, we received further confirmation. We counted 469 middle fingers; many more went unnoticed. Each one gave us further vindication that we were right.
After all, this city voted 95% for Kamala Harris, the cackling lady who prefers open borders, thinks men can be women, and defended Joe Biden’s senility. You can bet your ass that I will be out there every single weekend pissing off all the morons who inhabit DC, all while having the time of my life.
"These are miserable people," he added. "Certainly not the party of joy!"
Two words: absolute cinema.
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