Elizabeth Edwards Connects With the Less Fortunate of N.C.

Mary Katharine Ham
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Posted: Apr 09, 2007 2:44 PM
So, last week, everyone was going on and on about how much of an asset Elizabeth Edwards is to her husband's campaig. At the time, I agreed. She seems genuine, involved but not overbearing, and projects normalcy while still endearing herself to the Nutroots, which is a talent, indeed. Far as I can tell, she's a Democrat, but she's also a slick Southern lady who knows what she's doing.

But, sheesh, she's showing some unfortunate colors this week. Here's how the Edwardses apparently feel about their less-fortunate neighbor-- also known as a typical North Carolina voter. How did Edwards ever get elected to the Senate in my home state?

Edwards views Johnson as a "rabid, rabid Republican" who refuses to clean up his "slummy" property just to spite her family, whose lavish 28,000-square-foot estate is nearby on 102 wooded acres.

Johnson, 55, acknowledges his Republican roots. But he takes offense to the suggestion he has purposefully left his property, including an old garage he leases for use as a car shop, in dilapidated condition.

Johnson said he has lived his entire life on the property, which he said his family purchased before the Great Depression. He said he's spent a lot of money to try and fix up the 42-acre tract.

"I have to budget. I have to live within my means," Johnson said. "I don't have millions of dollars to fix the place."

Calling your neighbor's normal-people house "slummy" when you live in a mansion the size of the Dean Dome does not reflect what we like to call "good home training."

Elizabeth also relates that she's scared of her neighbor because he owns a shotgun and has used it to defend his property. Once again, Elizabeth, meet the typical North Carolina voter.

"I wouldn't be nice to him, anyway," Edwards said in an interview. "I don't want my kids anywhere near some guy who, when he doesn't like somebody, the first thing he does is pull a gun out. It scares the business out of me."

But Johnson defended the occasion he brandished a gun, saying those on his land didn't have the proper approval.

"I use the gun for protection, and I considered that an appropriate time," Johnson said. "Sometimes you have to take drastic measures."

If she's gonna stop being nice to gun-owners, she and Edwards are gonna have serious problems in the South. Here's the neighbor's two cents:

"I thought he was supposed to be for the poor people," Johnson said. "But does he ever socialize with any poor people? He doesn't speak to me."
Typical North Carolina voter, meet Limousine Liberal. Now, let's do our favorite exercise, in which we imagine the wife of a Republican candidate admits to being afraid of the "rabid Democrats" who live near their mansion with their "slummy" housing and their propensity for firearm use. What would happen to that presidential candidate?

Ha. Trick question. That man would no longer be a candidate.

The Edwardses' neighbor is selling his property. I have always wanted to settle back home in N.C. Wonder what it's going for.