KFC's new Double Down chicken sandwich is obviously the most important news of the day. It's has a bacon-and-cheese filling with two slabs of fried chicken in place of the bread. America is indeed beautiful.
I like the Chicago Tribune's Kevin Pang:
The sandwich was designed as the first mobile meal, the bread a vehicle to transport perishable and often-messy proteins. The absence of bread robs this “sandwich” of dignity.
Holding this meat-glorb (I shall no longer refer to it as the s-word) is a harrowing task — it's scalding hot to pick up, and oily through the parchment-like paper. Bread would have provided traction, but here, the cheese and mayo interior acts as a lubricant of sorts, allowing the fried boneless chicken fillets to slip and slide against each other.
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