NYC Releases Strange New 'Sex Guidelines'

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Posted: Jun 10, 2020 11:45 PM
NYC Releases Strange New 'Sex Guidelines'

Source: AP Photo/Elaine Thompson

The New York City Health Department on Wednesday released new guidelines people should follow if they wish to engage in sex during the Wuhan coronavirus pandemic. According to the health department, "Decisions about sex and sexuality need to be balanced with personal and public health," which is why they released the guidance.

The health department admits that they are unsure if the Wuhan coronavirus can spread through vaginal or anal intercourse. Other coronaviruses have not spread through sex, which leads them to believe that is the case with this strain.

One of the biggest things the department stressed was limiting the number of sexual partners.

"You are your safest sex partner. Masturbation will not spread COVID-19, especially if you wash your hands (and any sex toys) with soap and water for at least 20 seconds before and after sex," the document stated.

If a person decides to have sex with a partner, he or she is encouraged to limit the number of partners. 

But here's where things seem so bizarre they're almost satirical.

If two is company then three (or more) is definitely a crowd. Large gatherings of any type are not safe during COVID-19. Close contact with multiple people should be avoided. But, if you decide to find a crowd, below are tips to reduce your risk of spreading or getting COVID-19:

  • Limit the size of your guest list. Keep it intimate.
  • Go with a consistent sex partner.
  • Pick larger, more open, and well-ventilated spaces.
  • Wear a face covering, avoid kissing, and do not touch your eyes, nose, or mouth with unwashed hand
  • Bring an alcohol-based hand sanitizer

If you usually meet your sex partners online or make a living by having sex, consider taking a break from in-person dates. Video dates, sexting, subscription-based fan platforms, sexy “Zoom parties” or chat rooms may be options for you.

In addition to wearing masks, avoiding kissing and creating social distancing, the health department also wants people to "take care during sex." They provided creative ideas for alternatives to conventional sex:

  • Kissing can easily pass the virus. Avoid kissing anyone who is not part of your small circle of close contacts.
  • Rimming (mouth on anus) might spread the virus. Virus in feces may enter your mouth and could lead to infection
  • Wear a face covering or mask. Maybe it’s your thing, maybe it’s not, but during COVID-19 wearing a face covering that covers your nose and mouth is a good way to add a layer of protection during sex. Heavy breathing and panting can spread the virus further, and if you or your partner have COVID-19 and don’t know it, a mask can help stop that spread.
  • Make it a little kinky. Be creative with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls, that allow sexual contact while preventing close face to face contact.
  • Masturbate together. Use physical distance and face coverings to reduce the risk.
  • Condoms and dental dams can reduce contact with saliva, semen or feces during oral or anal sex. Visit nyc.gov/condoms to find out how to get free safer sex products.
  • Washing up before and after sex is more important than ever.
    • Wash hands with soap and water for at least 20 seconds.
    • Wash sex toys with soap and warm water.
    • Disinfect keyboards and touch screens that you share with others

So, let's get this straight. People are out protesting, rioting and looting but the health department is more concerned about the coronavirus being spread through sexual contact? If the spread of the disease through sex was such an issue, why didn't they come up with these guidelines months ago?