You know what? I am perfectly happy to follow the news about the Little Prince (with a nod toward Antoine de Saint-Exupéry).
As you know, the Prince was born yesterday (with a nod toward Judy Holliday) and in the way of royalty the announcement read:
"Her Royal Highness The Duchess of Cambridge was safely delivered of a son at 4.24 p.m. The baby weighs 8 lbs. 6 oz. The Duke of Cambridge was present for the birth.
"The queen, The Duke of Edinburgh, The Prince of Wales, The Duchess of Cornwall, Prince Harry and members of both families have been informed and are delighted with the news."
You have to hand it to the royals; who else would have the chutzpah to use the construct: "was delivered of a son?"
As I remember, when the Mullings Director of Standards & Practices was delivered of Reed, I call her mom and mine and said to each in her turn, "Good morning, grandma!" which seemed to have appropriately delivered them of the message that they had been delivered of a grandson.
As of this writing, he hasn't been named, but I'm betting on John Paul George Ringo, the Prince of Cambridge.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the pond and on the other end of the scale of human behavior, America's Texter, Anthony Weiner (D-NY), has been caught doing it again -- delivering of lewd text messages.
If you've forgotten, Weiner was a congressman from New York who got caught "sexting" underage girls. At first he claimed his account might have been hacked, but when a photo surfaced of him sending out what is now called a "selfie" from the members' gym, he 'fessed up and resigned from the House.
South Carolina's Ramblin' Mark Sanford (R-SC) had to quit his job as Governor after he was caught traveling to Argentina to be delivered of his girlfriend.
Earlier this year, Sanford won a seat in the U.S. House, and Weiner apparently decided that Americans were more forgiving of these escapades than he might have first thought, and announced he was running to deliver the people of New York City of a Mayor.
Putting aside for a moment the thought that if ever two entities deserved each other, New York City and Anthony Weiner are they, Weiner had to admit yesterday that he had continued to send vulgar text messages even after he had resigned.
His explanation was, according to RealClearPolitics.com's Scott Conroy, that those texts shouldn't count because:
"The fact is that was also the time that my wife and I were working through some things in our marriage."
I sort of hope this logic catches on.
"I was driving drunk because I expected the road to be straight but it curved to the left."
"I didn't pay my taxes because I was too involved with embezzling funds from my company."
"I haven't put the garbage out in six months because my fridge is on the blink."
Feel free to send in your own oxymoronic excuse.
The new texts were posted on a site called, "TheDirty."
You know that old saying "Don't do anything you wouldn't want to see on the front page of the Washington Post (or another paper of your choice)?"
Here's an update: "Don't do anything that will land you on the front page of a website called 'TheDirty.'"
TheDirty has reprinted some of the texts, and they are most definitely NSFW (Not Safe for Work) so if you go there, you have been warned.
Weiner will not drop out of the race for Mayor -- he is within the margin of error of the lead -- and his wife, Huma Abedin, not only stood at his side but announced she was staying with him and he was staying in the race.
It was not lost on observers that his wife has been a long-time aide to Hillary Clinton, who knows a little something about being delivered of that kind of behavior from her husband.
The best part of all this was Weiner had adopted a nom de plume: Carlos Danger.
I am changing my Twitter handle from @richgalen to @escobar_vulnerable.
I should be delivered of lots of dates.