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Demasculation of America's Boys

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of

Every time I write about how the modern culture seems dead-set on destroying the confidence of America's little boys, I am swamped with e-mail. It seems that everyone with a son or grandson has a story to tell about how manhood and chivalry are under attack. Last week I heard from a dad, Bill, who echoes the sentiments of many: "The boys are getting emasculated and wimpy/passive as they're now intimidated by girls due to fear of sex harassment charges and pro-female/anti male societal/educational tilts."

Sadly, he's right. As a mom of two sons and a youth leader I have seen how boys cringe when television shows depict boys as crude and stupid while the girls are always smart and powerful. I've experienced their confusion when girls snub them for opening the door. One day I observed the pained looks on the faces of male highschool students when a teacher explained that a major assignment would be to watch a movie of their choice and write a paper on how women in the film are discriminated against.

The attacks on our boys are endless and very purposeful: if they are taught to be nothing more than crude dolts then they will become emasculated men who keep to themselves. And the women will end up wearing the pants.

I've also observed on countless occasions a minor, but powerful, display of how ours is quickly becoming a culture where men are having trouble being men: females struggling alone to lift a heavy suitcase into the overhead compartment on a plane all the while surrounded by men who pretend they don't see.

My reader, Bill, also said:

"The feminists that sold us on there being no discernable difference between men and women except their plumbing have done an immeasurable disservice to women, the family, and hence society."

I would add that this trend toward emasculation is also destroying the dignity and potential of countless young boys.

Decide to raise your sons to be gentlemen - that means teaching them to be both courageous and considerate. To create young men of valor, you have to spend a significant amount of time deprogramming them of the lies the culture bombards them with at every turn. Talk about the raunchy scenes in TV shows, commercials and music that depict males as irrelevant or disposable. Or better yet, filter out those messages altogether.

If you are a dad or the primary male in the life of a boy, the most effective method to ensure that he becomes a man of dignity is to consciously model the behavior for him. If you are a mom with no positive adult male to help you raise your son, find one.

Seek out great organizations like the Boy Scouts or find a church family that will help you. In the meantime, develop a habit of reading stories of brave, kind men so they can imagine themselves becoming that way too. One great resource for books, tapes and movies to help you raise boys you can be proud of is

America really needs more than just a few good men - help your son be one of them.

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