"Tolerant Liberal" Lists 28 Reasons to Hate Conservatives

Michael Schaus
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Posted: Feb 13, 2015 2:12 AM
"Tolerant Liberal" Lists 28 Reasons to Hate Conservatives

There is actually a website called “LiberalAmerica”… And they claim to have been saving America since 1776. (Kind of a neat trick for a website. And, no: I didn’t know America needed saving from Constitutional government either.) Tiffany Willis, the editor in chief, came up with a wonderfully bigoted list of 28 reasons she’s too closed-minded and intellectually dishonest to have grown-up conversations with people who are ideologically opposed to her political philosophy.

For both your enjoyment (and because writing is more therapeutic for me than grinding a cheese grater against my forehead) I have provided her gleefully bigoted list below, with a few interjections of my own:

(Tiffany’s words are in italics… The rest is me. Enjoy.)

Here is why I have to abandon attempts at intelligent conversation with most of you.

Um… Because you’re incapable? (Sorry… But you kinda softballed that one in there.)

1. You support revisionist history.

Okay… Let me save you three paragraphs of nonsense. Apparently, reminding kids that America has traditionally been the single most ardent proponent of individual liberty (and by extension: prosperity) is “revisionist” history… But “forgetting” to tell kids that Republicans fought for civil rights, and FDR opposed anti-lynching laws is what qualifies as “history” in LiberalAmerica.

Sorry… Let’s skip to the next section:

2. You cite Jesus as your reasoning for rejecting marriage equality.

Yet the Bible only mentions homosexuality six times. Six. Times. 6!

I know it sounds crazy, but I don’t really require my God to tell me things multiple times. More importantly, is that gay marriage isn’t as much about homosexuality as it is about marriage. The bible might only say something about homosexuality 6 times, but it rambles on quite a bit about the importance of loving one another as God loves his church. Go talk to a priest about marriage… They literally have encyclopedic volumes on the topic from the Bible.

So why is this one of the biggest issues on your agenda?

It’s not.

Why are you putting so much energy and hate into an issue that clearly wasn’t one of God’s major concerns?

It’s not hate. It’s a difference of opinion. Grow up.

As Christians who are pro-family, why would you deny people the right to the sanctity of marriage? If marriage strengthens families, why would you not want everyone to have this, even if you disagree with their choice of mate?

Because two guys (or girls) deciding to live (and love) together isn’t the same thing as a “family”.

YOU (we) have destroyed the sanctity of marriage. There is no possible way that gay marriage can do more harm to marriage than heterosexuals have done. Yet we seldom hear a sermon bemoaning the divorce rate or people living together before marriage.

Actually, I hear preachers talk about that a lot… I’m catholic, and we had to take a class on it before taking our vows. What’s your point?

3. You use Biblical scripture to excuse yourself from feeding the hungry.

C’mon… Jesus will make them a fish.

There is nothing you do that makes me more disgusted with you than your abuse and misuse of 2 Thessalonians 3:10.

For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, If any will not work, neither let him eat. 2 Thessalonians 3:10

You are deliberately taking the scripture — ONE VERSE! — out of context when you use them to justify your own hatred of poor people. And again, you’re showing your ignorance.

Wow… So, because we don’t believe that government is best equipped to handle “charitable” causes, you accuse us of hating the poor? How terribly Christian of you.

The truth is, most Christian conservatives give plenty to charity… Government is not charity. Government is crony, corrupted, and inefficient. We think too highly of the poor to tell them to go to a government building for help.

4. You lie when you say you value “freedom of religion.”

This coming from a lady who’s political movement has had children suspended from praying at their school lunch, had coaches fired for leading the team in a (voluntary) team prayer, and tried to scrub “in god we trust” from our currency…

Freedom of religion is not the same thing as freedom from religion. If “under God” offends you, don’t say it.

Let’s move on to number five:

5. You claim God speaks to you and tells you to do things.

Over and over and over, we see right wing nutjobs in the news saying they’re doing this horrible thing or that horrible thing because God told them to.

Something tells me you’re not talking about Muslims…

This is, to quote the Christian Courier, “a very convenient method of authenticating what you want to do.”

He does NOT do that.

Right… I mean, Noah just built a giant wooden ship on a whim.

God, having of old time spoken unto the fathers in the prophets by divers portions and in divers manners, hath at the end of these days spoken unto us in his Son. Hebrews 1:1

But conservatives believe these nuts. Here is what I think: not only should sensible conservatives not believe these nuts, you need to start speaking out against them. These are the false prophets that the Bible warns us about, in my humble opinion. Most of you lack the courage to take a stand against these idiots even when you know they’re nuts.

Gotcha… Apparently “freedom of religion” means mocking and degrading religious people who you think are “nuts”. Now I’m starting to get it.

6. You question my faith.

“Christian Left is an oxymoron.”

Oh my, I’ve heard that so much from the right, and believe it or not, I often hear it from my “friends.” First of all, your questioning of my faith genuinely means very little to me. What it does is destroy my opinion of you; I now view you as self-righteous hypocrites.

Says the lady who just spent three bullet points explaining that my understanding of my faith is an illustration of my buffoonery.

Keep questioning my faith, though, my people, because you can be sure I’m questioning yours.

Didn’t you call me a hypocrite recently?

One thing I won’t do, however, is accuse you of not being a believer as you do me.

I never said you didn’t believe. I just questioned whether or not supporting the murder of unborn children is very Christian. I mean, “What would Jesus do?”

What I will suggest to you is that my faith may be stronger than yours. I’ve educated myself, dared to question all things, and STILL believe. Most of you are too afraid to even learn. It may, after all, test your faith.

Wow. So, if I understand you correctly, you’re enlightened… But anyone who happens to think that certain liberal values are incompatible with the teaching of Christ are (apparently) bigoted, weak, uncultured sheep. How very tolerant and understanding!

I’ll pray for you! :)

Thanks. I already prayed for you. Maybe we’ll see results sometime soon.

7. You care more about your guns than you do about children.

After the Sandy Hook massacre, and following other similar tragedies, I asked many of you if you loved your guns more than you do children. I made the statement of “I’d give up my gun forever if it would bring back even one of those children.”

I asked you if you’d do the same. You admitted that you would not.

I’m not sure how giving up my gun (which hasn’t actually shot anyone) will bring a dead kid back to life. But, while we’re on the subject, I own guns so that I can protect my family from the type of senseless and random violence that we saw in Newtown. After all, studies have proven that .45 caliber slugs tend to be more effective at stopping bad guys than rape whistles or hugs.

Maybe that’s what you don’t “get”. Guns aren’t more important than children. And that’s exactly why we need them.

8. You get excited about people dying.

No… Al Sharpton gets excited about people dying. It means he gets to march somewhere.

You really, really like to see death. And not just to terrorists. You love the death penalty. You love war. You love seeing kids like Trayvon Martin being shot. They deserve it, you say. But his murderer has shown — again and again — since his acquittal that he is a dangerous person.

George Zimmerman is an idiot. But we don’t put people behind bars for being an idiot. 

As for terrorists, war, and the death penalty… Yeah. I like the fact that someone who raped, murdered, and tortured other human beings will no longer be breathing the same air as the rest of us. I guess I’m weird.

9. You assume that everyone who needs help are losers and parasites who refuse to work.

Approximately 47 million people receive food stamps, and most of them are children or the elderly, in addition to people who are employed.

If 47 million people are on food stamps, that means that our economy is so abysmal 47 million people can’t even purchase their own food, there is rampant fraud in the system, people game the system, or a combination of all three… Pick one.

The problem isn’t that people need food stamps. The problem is that people like you measure their compassion by how many people are using government assistance. Compassion should be measured by how many people no longer need assistance for basic things like food.

The most rousing testimonial of an entitlement program should be its obvious obsolescence.

10. You weren’t concerned about uninsured people– including me.

It’s all about you, isn’t it?

It’s a matter of method, lady. Government regulated healthcare (like what the VA has) isn’t really the best way to help the needy. I’m so happy you have insurance now. Have you said “thanks” to any of the millions of people that lost their preferred coverage to make sure you have your contraception pills for free?

11. The Creation Museum — that is all.

You think this is OK. It’s not. These people just make stuff up. Do you really think kangaroos floated from Africa to Australia on rafts? Why are you condoning this ignorance?

I’m not. But this is another great example of how “tolerant” you are of people who have different belief structures. (But I’m the bigot for pointing out that today’s terrorists routinely yell “Allah Akbar” before killing people. Sheesh.)

12. You’re liberal in youth, yet grow conservative in age.

… You don’t get to live it up as a young person and then try to take a moral high ground when you get old and aren’t interested in living anymore.

Here’s some quick words of advice I once got from a very wise man: If you don’t change by the time you grow up, then you’re still acting like a spoiled child.

Time to change, Tiffany.

13. You don’t want people who disagree with you to vote.

Oh, Gerrymandering, you ugly devil, you. But do we question why this is so common and seldom questioned by people on the right? It’s because you, my conservative voter loved ones, agree with it. You think it’s perfectly acceptable (and necessary) to suppress the vote. It’s for the “good of the nation.”

Stop telling me what I believe. Democrats have been Gerrymandering voting districts for decades.

14. Some of your best friends are black. Or Mexican.

I don’t care how many black or Hispanic friends you have. If you think that mentality is OK, then yes, you’re racist.

I’ll stop pointing out how many black and Hispanic friends I have when you stop shouting that I’m a racist.

15. You scream about undocumented immigrant children at the border, but you hire Mexicans to do your dirty work.

I live in Texas. Duh! Every single upper-middle-class or wealthy person I know has at one time hired cheap labor to do their menial tasks like home repairs, yard work, housekeeping, and childcare. They actually seek out Hispanic people because they know that they do good work and that they’ll work for cheap.

So all illegals are Mexicans? Wow… And we’re the racists? (And by the way, we scream about people breaking the law. It has nothing to do with race.)

16. You insist on calling undocumented immigrants “illegals” and “aliens.”

Well… They’re immigrants (identified technically as “aliens”) who are here illegally… But if it makes you feel better, I’ll change my vernacular. How about “criminal immigrants” since they committed a crime by immigrating illegally?

They are human beings. They are undocumented immigrants.

Right… And all those people who sell coke are just “undocumented” pharmacists.

Many of them are children. It reallyyyyy makes me furious to see you deliberately depersonalizing these human beings who are doing nothing but seeking the American Dream that you are so proud of.

I’m pretty sure a prerequisite to following the “American” dream is to become an American.

And you do this on purpose. You know what you’re doing. You’re proud of your very unethical and un-Christian attitude towards these human beings.

Un-Christian? Drop your self-aggrandized moral supremacy for just a minute, and understand that you don’t own the patent on compassion. An individual who breaks the law to come into this country is… an unlawful resident of this country: AKA: An Illegal Immigrant.

If you can’t even handle the English language, how are we supposed to have a conversation about the underlying problems?

17. You don’t mind using force against “lesser” groups to get what you want.

Case in point, protesting outside of abortion clinics.

Wait… Protesting is “force”? Then can I charge Mom’s Demand Action with assault for holding signs outside my favorite Starbucks?

Or protesting at the funerals of gay people. And yeah, I know that is Westboro Baptist Church and not you, but if you refuse to speak out against them, then you’re a part of the problem.

Really? Do you feel the same way about the “moderate Muslims” of the world?

18. You love war, death, and destruction.

And why do you love war, death, and destruction? Because ‘Murica. Because you think this somehow makes us superior. We may be militarily superior, but we are ethically inferior.

Nah… You’re right. We should have just learned German.

Even when confronted with the lies, now confirmed officially, that got us into the Iraq war, you don’t care.

Lies? Listen carefully you maniacally biased liberal hack: American heroes hauled enough Yellow-Cake Uranium out of Iraq to make 14 Hiroshima bombs. Those “lies” proved to be precisely accurate. And now Vladimir Putin’s buddy, Bashar Al Assad of Syria, is shuffling around a handful of chemical weapons with Iraqi labeling.

I get it: You didn’t like the war. Stop trying to exonerate Saddam. It’s unbecoming, even for a liberal shill.

You like for America to be the world’s largest terrorist organization and the world’s most formidable bully.

I wouldn’t mind some child-killing, women-raping, Jordanian-pilot-burning thugs in the Middle East to think of us that way.

19. Speaking of war, you think draft dodging is OK and military service is for the little people.

Why doesn’t it bother you that Dick Cheney et al are draft dodgers? Or that Mitt Romney has an entire baseball team of sons and not one of them served in the military? Or that none of the current generation of Bush children have served in the military.

First of all, most conservatives don’t like the draft. Second of all, go soak your head. I’m sure a Marine will help.

20. You claim to care about the Constitution, but in reality you don’t.

Oh yes, you scream “CONSTITUTION” at the top of your lungs, but when idiotic Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) recently tried to strip the Constitution of the 5th and 6th Amendments, where were you? Where was your outrage?

Wait, you claim that Ted is stripping away the 5th and 6th Amendment because he wants to revoke the passport of anyone that fights with ISIS? At least he’s not asking to intern all Arab Americans, like FDR wanted to do with Japanese immigrants during the second World War.

I hate to break it to you, but taking the passport away from a self-admitted enemy of the state is not a violation of the Constitution… Of course, we could just ask for the death penalty. I mean, that is kinda spelled out.

You love the parts of the Constitution that please you personally — NOT the entire Constitution.

Says the lady who just asked us to give up our guns (for the “children”).

21. It’s impossible for you to see your privilege.

We see our privilege. We’re just more focused on making sure everyone has opportunity.

22. You don’t care about children.

Says the lady that supports abortion.

You care about fetuses.

Oh, good… You read my mind.

Once those fetuses begin to breath outside the womb, your concern is gone if they’re born into a poor family that needs help. Or how about poor children who are in school? Most of you want to do away with free and reduced lunches, for God’s sake. And let’s not even talk about free breakfasts for kids. What is wrong with you people??? There is no better investment that we can make as a nation than in the early childhood health of our children.

Wait… Didn’t you just tell us that 47 million people have food stamps so poor children don’t have to go hungry? If poverty in America needs this much help, I’d have to say your anti-poverty programs are clearly not a rousing success. Maybe we should try something new.

23. You’re greedy and miserable.

But you created a list of 28 things you hate about other human beings… So I kinda feel like I have a slightly happier outlook on life.

You spend more time bemoaning what is being taken from you that you do in being thankful that you have enough to share.

If you take much more from me, I won’t have anything left to share.

24. You think our religion is the only one.

I’m a Christian — a proud follower of the most amazing man I’ve ever studied.

Okay. I always learned that Jesus was a touch more than just an “amazing man”; but I get your point.

Most of what is good about me comes from the teachings of Jesus. I love my religion and my Holy Book. I use the Words in Red as a compass. But who am I to look at other people who feel exactly the same way about their own religions and judge them?

I dunno. You’re doing a bang-up job judging people by their political beliefs.

25. You are lazy and you refuse to read.

I provide sources for you that will debunk most of your BS, or at least help you to see it a little differently. You refuse to read it. You stick to Fox News, World Net Daily, etc…You refuse to ever entertain another point of view.

When was the last time you read Karl Marx? I read him (again) roughly a year ago. Just because someone disagrees with you doesn’t mean they’re ignorant, or brainwashed. But believing that they are tells us something about you.

26. Your misfortune is God’s blessing.

When something bad happens to you, you sanctimoniously think it’s God testing you and making you stronger. When something bad happens to me (or gay people or atheists or etc…), you think it’s God punishing them.

Really?

Stop telling me what I believe. It’s getting old. (And this might be part of the reason you can’t have an intelligent conversation with people who don’t think like you do.)

27. “Everyone has their lot in life.”

Except you, of course. Well, no….you do have a lot. Your lot is to have every privilege and entitlement and make sure your children have the same.

Yeah, we want the best for our kids. We’re horrible human beings.

(And, by the way, we generally believe people should be given the opportunity to change their lot in life.)

28. You think you’re the only one working and paying taxes.

“My tax dollars….” Here’s a clue: you’re not the only one paying taxes. Liberals pay taxes, too. Just how far do you think your $2,000 a year in income taxes goes? Or your $10,000, or even your $50,000? No matter how wealthy you are and how much income tax you pay — and most of those complaining aren’t paying that much — you’re actually probably paying more for wars (that you love) than for food stamps for children in poverty.

Well, actually Defense spending is roughly 18 percent of the US budget, with approximately 69 percent of the budget comprised of wealth transfer programs (entitlements, welfare, and social security)… So, actually, I am paying for those food stamps.

But, go ahead and wrap up your hate mail (cleverly disguised as a column):

All of this said, let me say this: I’m very grateful and appreciative of my sane conservative friends who can actually participate in an intelligent and respectful discussion.

It must be tough with you calling them un-educated Christian bigots who tend to be racist.

Thank you, my dear ones, for being sane. For understanding that things aren’t always black and white. And for disagreeing with me without belittling my very existence.

Kinda like you just did to conservatives 28 times in a row?

And for not rubbing midterm losses in my face.

Like the President rubbed his two victories in the face of the GOP?

And for never once calling me stupid or amoral for being a liberal.

I wouldn’t call you that… I just think you could use a bit more education and ethical direction.