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Comrade Obama Reads Teleprompter for 6th Time to Both Houses of Congress

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of

Another State of the Union Speech (yawn) by President Barack Obama has come to an end. In far more exciting and mildly more consequential news: I started playing Advanced Warfare on PS4… Seriously cool graphics. Although, I still haven’t mastered the skill of shooting while jumping; so those 14 year old kids on the other side of the country still kick my butt.


Don’t get me wrong: It’s not that the State of the Union is completely inconsequential. But our class-warrior-President on the other hand… Well, let’s just say that he would be a pretty minor character in 'House of Cards' at this point. After all, it’s not as if we’re getting anything new from the predictably “progressive” President. He might as well have dusted off every Democrat campaign speech since 1913, and ‘copy and pasted’ them onto his teleprompter screen. According to Fox News:

While urging lawmakers to join him in pursuing a “better politics” in Washington, the president repeatedly antagonized congressional Republicans. He sprinkled his address with jabs at the “superrich”… Most controversial is a plan unveiled over the weekend imposing more than $300 billion in tax hikes over 10 years – including on investment and inheritance taxes for top earners – to fund tax credit expansions for the middle class.

Really? Raise taxes? The “new and improved” Obamanomics sound an awful lot like the old Obamanomics. I mean, taxes? That’s the big bold plan for Obama’s lame-duck presidency? Maybe we’re just supposed to forget for a minute that the GOP is generally disinclined to approve massive tax hikes. (Although… It seems that they often need to be reminded of that fact.) Then again, the government is clearly running a little too lean right now, so an extra $320 billion would really help the government get on some sort of a Dave Ramsey debt-reduction plan, right?


Well… Actually, that might be a little off base. In 2014, the Treasury Department brought in more revenue than any other time in history. With just over $3 trillion in revenue, the Treasury experienced its largest victory (to date) in the war to separate American citizens from their hard earned money. Of course, even that record revenue wasn’t quite enough: The Feds still managed to run a (nearly) half trillion dollar deficit.

We gave more of our collective paychecks to the Feds than any other time in history, and they still couldn’t manage to keep the budget from being written with red ink? Correct me if I’m wrong, but that doesn’t exactly look like a revenue problem… It almost looks like a spending problem.

But c’mon! You should really stop being so greedy, and just get behind the President’s populist progressive redistributive pandering plan to raise $320 billion in new taxes (on “rich” people). After all, it’s not terribly communal of you to expect that the money you socked away for your child’s education be used, ya know, for your child’s education… If we don’t tax it, how are we going to send people who didn’t plan ahead for college? (I’ll literally pay anything for a sarcasm font at this point. Please, get something through the patent office, and send me a notice.)


But, I’m getting side tracked:

Understandably, many Americans tuned out of last night’s State of the Union Speech. For many of us, rubbing sand into our eyes would rate slightly higher than listening to a repeat performance of Obama’s campaign pledges, government solutions, and “progressive” (read: “tried and failed”) agenda items for the next couple of years. And so, until the liberal media begins prattling on about the thrill up their leg, my only initial reaction to Obama’s long-winded campaign-style speech before Congress is this:


Now, if you don’t mind, I need to spend a little more time being virtually mowed down by a team of middle-school computer geeks… I kinda miss Mario Brothers.


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