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Rejected White House Correspondents' Dinner Jokes

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.

Here are some jokes that will not be delivered at the annual liberal love-fest known as the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, being held this Saturday in Washington DC:

I hope you enjoyed your dinner tonight.

It was a family recipe from the President’s childhood.

I’m talking about the fact that Barack Obama ate dog meat as a child.

A fact that he hid from every journalist in this room – by writing it down in his autobiography.

Mitt Romney tells one Boston newspaper, five years ago, that he put his dog in a carrier on the roof of his car – and every journalist in this room knows about it.

The President actually eats a dog, announces it in a book that sells 2 million copies, records himself reading those words for the audiobook of Dreams From My Father, and still: half the people in this room are turning to the other half and saying: “Mitt Romney ate what, now?”

I’m not saying the media doesn’t care about the treatment of dogs – you do.

You care about the treatment of dogs – by Republicans.

And I’m not saying the media isn’t tough on Presidents – you are.

You were tough on President Bush. And President Bush Senior. And President Reagan. And President Nixon. Heck, you guys drove Nixon out of office, and got Robert Redford to play you in the movie.

But, in all fairness, after pounding on President Bush, day after day, digging into his past, and holding him to account, for 8 long years…

…you’ve earned a bit of a rest.

Besides, what’s the big deal? The leader of the free world ate a dog. And grasshoppers. And a snake.

How’s that interesting?

The President also wrote that his stepfather promised to, “bring home a piece of tiger meat” for them to eat.

Charlie Sheen drinks Tiger’s Blood – that’s all we hear about for months. The President of the United States and tiger meat – meh.

With that kind of intense media scrutiny, the President’s gotta be thinking one thing, and one thing only in 2012:


The media does, occasionally, ask tough questions. Like the White House pool reporter – and this is absolutely true – who asked the President what his dog Bo thinks about releasing America’s petroleum reserves.

Obama said: “Good idea – I’ll release the gas and blame the dog.”

I’m not saying the media’s in the tank for Obama.

You say it every day with your work.

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