America is still slack-jawed in amazement at last week's blithering antics of President Cornholio. The guy would have to work his way up to being senile, and the fact that he was always stupid and arrogant and malicious just makes his present condition a million times worse. That the guy is manifestly unfit to be president is obvious; what is also obvious is that this guy isn't going anywhere. It's Trump versus Biden all the way to November. On the plus side, watching the horror of the Democrats at this spectacle is absolutely delightful.
They are trying to cope. During the disastrous news conference, you could see his guys going through the 12 stages of grief in about 30 seconds. He staggered out, barely able to construct a sentence, with spasms of unfocused anger, to make an argument that "Dammit, I am competent enough to stand trial for my crimes!" And his supporters, who remarkably still exist, Immediately rallied. This humanized him, they insisted. He was sharp as a tack. He was great. America is going to love him. Why, the citizens of this country adore the idea of someone who is so obviously senile having his withered forefinger hovering over the Big Red Button.
In my new book, "The Attack," which is about a massive terrorist assault on America made possible by the gross incompetence of this administration, there's a scene with the president. I portrayed him as a drooling halfwit who is barely capable of forming a sentence and utterly unable to do his job. I gave him much, much more credit than he deserves.
He's a mess and everybody knows it, well, almost everybody. The man most certain of Biden's intellectual qualities and leadership abilities is the only person – pretty much the only person – who has ever been certain of his intellectual qualities and leadership abilities. That is, Joe Biden himself. He's never had a bigger fan. Those around him need to pretend that he's not a grossly incompetent, corrupt old pervert. Their jobs depend on it. But with Biden, it's all ego. Deep down, even he knows he's an idiot. He knows he's always been an idiot. He knows he's a president so bad that Jimmy Carter looks at him with gratitude because, thanks to the Delaware Dimwit, Peanut Boy can honestly say that he's not the worst president of the last century.
Grandpa Badfinger will never go anywhere voluntarily. Now, he may go somewhere involuntarily because the sands of the hourglass are obviously falling. There's a substantial chance that one day we will wake up to a report that he has passed to his dubious reward and that our president is now Kamala Harris, who, remarkably, is even more incompetent than the current Moron-in-Chief.
And his supporters are doing everything they can to protect him - well, almost anything. They failed to do the most obvious thing, which is to keep that crotchety idiot away from the cameras. Who is the genius who thought it would be a good idea to send this guy out way, way, way past his bedtime, hopped up on goofballs for that amazing performance? Was there somebody who thought, "You know, if we only show America the real Joe Biden, they will totally dig it?" No one wants the real Joe Biden. That's why they keep him in the basement. But we all know what happened. Joe Biden saw the special prosecutor's damning report that he's too incompetent to stand trial and he got mad, and he demanded that he go out there because he needs to believe that he is some sort of dynamic heir to George Washington and Abe Lincoln even though he's pretty much just James Buchanan with a Ukrainian connection and a thing for showering with his daughter.
Over on MSNBC, it was an alternative universe. Not only were they thrilled about his performance, or at least pretending to be thrilled about it, but they were talking about how the Supreme Court was struggling against the overwhelming law and evidence supporting taking Joe Biden's political enemy off the ballot because of one weird trick. You don't react well to new and unsettling information when you're in an echo chamber. You do what the MSNBC hacks did. You just ignore it. You just pretend it didn't happen. You just pretend that that press conference was some sort of triumph that is going to have the American people rally around him, excited to have such a dynamic and forceful leader with a tight grasp on policy and the ability to eat solid food.
But that's not what's happening. The American people see this mutant for the mutant that he is. We've all had older relatives. We all know that they slow down. And we all know that the stupid ones get even stupider when they get senile. Compare this guy with Donald Trump, who at least can say he's competent to stand trial on trumped-up charges while Biden can't even face justice on valid ones. But hey, the report that Joe Biden is manifestly senile came out of the Biden Justice Department, so I guess we should treat it with a grain of salt.
Especially hilarious is how massive leftist coping has led to the narrative that this was super good for Biden's reelection. See, the American people are seeing him as human. Except when did Americans ever want a human president? They want an exceptional president, one who's not a clown or a buffoon. America's not made up of Homer Simpsons, but that's what Democrats think about us. They think we're stupid. Now, since they hang around with other Democrats, they might be forgiven for thinking that everyone is stupid because stupid people are all they know. But Americans aren't stupid. Americans see this guy is senile. Americans see this guy is incompetent. And Americans see that America's enemies are going to exploit his weakness, no matter how much Biden kisses up to them.
A sensible Democrat Party would throw this ridiculous buffoon out, as well as the ridiculous buffoonnette who is his understudy. But there is no serious Democrat Party. They put Joe Biden in knowing he was senile because they could portray him as bringing back America's normality. Well, if this is normal, sign me up for chaos. And they put Kamala Harris in because she's a woman of favored color and thereby checks some irrelevant boxesfetishized by racist leftists. Neith er of these clowns would be within 1000 miles of the White House if the Democrat Party were a serious party. And now it's all falling apart. It's no shock that the party can't deal with the mess it made.
It's Harris/Biden all the way unless fate intervenes, and I don't think fate is going to intervene just because watching this unfold will be so mordantly hilarious. Joe Biden is going to be on the ballot in November 2024 against Donald Trump. Let's see how that works out.
Oh, and I'm going to go out on a limb here and predict that we're not going to have any presidential debates.
Follow Kurt on Twitter @KurtSchlichter. Get the newest volume in the Kelly Turnbull People’s Republic series of conservative action novels set in America after a notional national divorce, the bestselling Amazon #1 Military Thriller, Overlord! And get his new novel of terrorism in America, The Attack!
Look, you need to keep up the fight by joining Townhall VIP right now. You get access to a bunch of great stuff, not the least of which is my extra Wednesday column, my weekly Stream of Kurtiousness videos every Friday, and the Unredacted podcast every Monday! Plus, some stuff from Larry O’Connor – and a bunch of other stuff.
Join the conversation as a VIP Member