Here’s my solution to the Gaza War. It’s innovative and simple! If Hamas cares about their people – Ha! – they can raise their hands and give up. Just don’t hold your breath.
Also, we used to have hot stars. Now, we have…well, not hot stars.
How To End The Gaza War
A lot of people are really upset that Israel is proceeding to kill the 7th Century degenerates who raped, tortured, and murdered 1,400 innocent people a few weeks ago. They cry out that Israel’s bombs are killing the Palestinians that Hamas is cowering behind the like the disgraceful savages they are. Now, these critics don’t seem bothered by the aforementioned mass murder or the continuing rocket assaults, but let’s pretend for a moment that these people who suddenly care about Middle Eastern lives the moment people who are not Jewish start losing them are acting in good faith.
Obviously, you’ll have to try really hard, because allegedly caring about the Palestinians is really wanting Israel to lose and Hamas to have another shot at genocide. But, for the sake of argument, hear out my solution to this conflict.
Hamas should unconditionally surrender.
Like right now. Today. This minute. Pull down the black flag o’ jihad and hoist up the white one of Frenchness. Give up, give in, and voila! Peace.
After all, Hamas is all Israel wants. It’s the subhuman mutants who got high and went on their killing spree. Now, these brave warriors of courage are hunkering down in hospitals and mosques, with their hostages, behind their human shields. Well, it’s time to test their caring.
If they care about the Palestinian people, they will give up.
Sure, it’s a sacrifice, but these are brave militants, right? Clearly, they care more about their own people than they would expect the Israelis to. And their little murder fest has brought down a lot of bombs and is likely to bring down a lot worse on their people, so I am sure these tough guys will want to stop that by any means necessary.
And the best way to do that is by surrendering to the IDF.
But what is weird is that they are not doing that. Of course, no one would expect them to. They care only marginally more about their own people than they do about the Israelis. The deaths of their people, killed being used as human shields by these yellow-bellied vermin, are useful to them as propaganda. Or were, because most people have realized it was all a lie and a scam.
Most, but not all. You still have Westerners who somehow imagine they are not going to be butchered by their Palestinian pets the second the psychos get the chance, pretending that this all happened in a vacuum. The Palestinians were simply walking along, on the way to school where they were honor students, when the mean colonialists started bombing them for no reason. What would possess the Israelis to commit this horrible atrocity?
Maybe actual atrocities, but they don’t care. Understand that anyone whining about the Palestinians and not demanding Hamas surrender wants one thing – dead Jews.
The Rise Of Ugly
I don’t want to pick on people, or be cruel, but I’m tired of our pop culture mavens trying to foist unattractive people upon us. It’s not done for inclusion or diversity – it’s a way of shaming our standards and rubbing our faces in their power, and I’m done with it. This screed focuses on popular culture, but the issue exists elsewhere. How many fashion ads have you seen where the model looks like Ahab’s prey? Are you tired of walking by a magazine rack and seeing that the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition is made up of dudes pretending to be chicks?
It's on purpose. It’s a slap in your face because your standards have been decreed to be wrong and you must learn, damn it. You must accept the mediocre as your idols. You will conform and suppress your male (and cis female) gaze.
Nope.
I was a child of the 70s and 80s, when people were good looking. Stars were beautiful then. Not now, at least not always. For my generation, when you think of 1982, you think of Phoebe Cates. The poor guys today get Dylan Mulvaney.
There are still a few folks who are not hard 4s on the big screen, but nowhere near the numbers of the past. Just look at the images we are shown – ugly is in among the tastemakers. We got a warning a while ago when Hollywood tried for force Lena Dunham and Amy Schumer down our collective throats, and we collectively gagged. They were both hideous on the inside, but outside they were…also hideous. Look at the stars of the past and then imagine those two waddling across the silver screen with the legends. No way. Perhaps these actresses were intended to be inclusive, to provide representation for normal people. But no one wants that.
They both flopped, because in pop culture we do not want reality. We want fantasy. Yeah, most people are not Grace Kelly or Cary Grant. Yeah, we get that. But pop culture is not supposed to be about grim real life. Just look at the poster for that dumb new “Marvels” movie. You got one bland blonde who looks like she’s going to tell you to wear your mask, another generic girl, and a third one who is just not cute. Or that “Killers of the Flower Moon” movie. You have Leonardo DiCaprio slumming it – that mope in the trailers is not the guy juggling jiggling supermodels on yachts in the Adriatic – and the female lead is…not hot. She might be a very nice woman. She might be a terrific thespian. But she’s not beautiful. And I don’t want to watch her for 3.5 hours.
Does this make me shallow? No, it makes me honest. Pop culture is not supposed to be real, nor is it supposed to be fake in the way the people running it want it to be. The world is not dominated by transexuals and schlubs – that vision is designed to demoralize and depress you.
Reject it. Luckily, there is plenty of pop culture from before the Age of Ughtron.
Follow Kurt on Twitter @KurtSchlichter. Get his eighth book in the Kelly Turnbull People's Republic series of conservative action novels set in America after a notional national divorce, Overlord, out now!
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