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OPINION
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We Cannot Rely Only on White Knights to Save Us

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Patrick Pleul/Pool via AP, File

We must not continue to rely on getting lucky – like with Elon Musk – in winning the political/cultural war. Our greatest victories seem to come when black swan events occur rather than through careful, steady political progress. That’s a recipe for failure in the long run. One day your luck runs out. And also I am sick, which is an unspeakable tragedy.

We Must Stop Relying On Luck

We need to think about how we will fight the battles to come. We got lucky with Elon. Purely lucky. The richest guy in the world decided, out of the blue bird, to buy Twitter and support free speech, and the revelations are shocking. But this was not the result of some master plan by conservatives to return to the traditional understanding of free speech. It was a fluke, kind of like Reagan or even Trump. We got someone into a position of power against the odds and staved off destruction for a little while. We can hope our luck continues, but hope is not a plan.

We especially need to stop looking for saviors of conservatism among people who are not even conservative. At least Reagan was; Trump sort of was/is. But Tulsi Gabbard, Elon Musk, that Ye guy – these people are not conservatives. Yet, conservatives embraced them, or at least in Ye’s case, heard him out before he went off the Gestapo deep end. What they have in common is that they don’t actively hate us – well, not in the case of Ye and Jewish conservatives and whoever else he imagines is stalking him at the moment. That sure blew up on us. A guy who was never even remotely conservative but who said a few things that aligned with what we think and did not wish for (most) us to be exiled to a gulag managed to tar us when it turned out he was a bizarre raving anti-Semitic looney. I did not see that coming – oh wait, I totally did.

Elon Musk is doing good stuff for Twitter in terms of free speech, but he’s no conservative no matter how angry the people with Ukrainian flags in their usernames claim he is. He will not always be there when we need him, but why would we expect him to be? He is not one of us. He just shares a formerly unremarkable understanding with us, that people should be able to say whatever they want without the government, media, and big corporations censoring them. We have that in common and we can work together, but if you think he’s going to be with us on abortion or guns (it looks like he’s on the side of the angels about CRT and pedo perversion), think again. 

Tulsi Gabbard campaigned for Republicans in the midterms and repudiated her past gun control views. We should be gracious when people grow and evolve, and lots of us cons used to be flaming libs. But the talk of her being Veep is just crazy. She is not a Republican. She’s a friend, and an ally, but that is not the same.

Look, as conservatives we are the social outcasts of the high school that is American culture. But just because Molly Ringwald talked to Michael Anthony Hall during Saturday detention in “The Breakfast Club” does not mean she is going to hang with him in the halls on Monday. Make alliances, work with people who share some of our positions, but don’t be a sap. We need to fight these battles consistently, not just when somebody comes along with a high profile. The only people who will save conservatism are conservatives.

I Am Sick And It Is The End Of The World

I have a cold, and I welcome your condolences. This is the worst thing in human history, a miserable combination of headaches, nausea, and mucus. The path from my bed to the bathroom is my personal Trail of Tears. Everyone needs to acknowledge it.

It’s weird that major injuries don’t bother me. I had appendicitis and laughed it off – until they sliced that organ equivalent of Mitt Romney out of me. But I was up and around the next day (Irina beat me – we saw The Who 48 hours after her appendectomy). I had a kidney stone, which I highly recommend to members of the S&M community and no one else, but I lived. And an Australian rugby player greeted me by ramming his head into my chest and cracking a rib or two, then we went and drank Foster’s.

But this minor respiratory ailment is another thing entirely.

I do not understand why a cough and some other gross symptoms render me unable to perform any function except write my column, but I am making that sacrifice for you, Townhall VIP members. I want you to know that and feel guilty.

By the way, the best sick food is a McDonald’s cheeseburger. Send me your thoughts at my super-secret email address below and I’ll talk about it next week.

Get Inferno, the seventh book in the Kelly Turnbull series of conservative action novels set in America after a notional national divorce! Catch up with all my action-packed novels, including People's Republic, Indian Country, Wildfire, Collapse, Crisis, and The Split, as well as the non-fiction book We’ll Be Back: The Fall and Rise of America.

Look, you need to keep up the fight by joining Townhall VIP right now. You get access to a bunch of great stuff, not the least of which is my extra Wednesday column, my weekly Stream of Kurtiousness videos every Friday, and the Unredacted podcast every Monday! Plus, some stuff from Larry O’Connor – and a bunch of other stuff.

My super-secret email address is kurt.schlichter@townhall.com

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