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OPINION

GOP Governor Grrrl Power Owning the Libs

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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AP Photo/Matt York

There is nothing that Democrats hate more than powerful women who are not hideous crones or castrating shrews, especially since castration – particularly of vulnerable minors – has become a key component of the Democrat platform. What’s odd is that in 2022, the Democrats have chosen to run a bunch of women who are pretty much archetypes of liberal harridans – fussy know-it-alls, passive-aggressive HR managers, ancient pinkos, and bitter man-haters. And all of them are abortion nuts, of course.

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The GOP went another way, picking candidates who don’t make normal women roll their eyes and normal men snort in derision. The woman-identifying GOP contenders this cycle, particularly those running for governor but also a key Senate candidate, are the opposite of the Democrat stock characters they face. Kari Lake in Arizona, Tudor Dixon in Michigan, Christine Drazan in Oregon, and Senate candidate Tiffany Smiley in Washington all have a solid chance to snuff their Karen competitors in a week, which is proof that Republicans are sexist somehow just like GOP support for Herschel Walker and Tim Scott proves their racism.

Though, we Republicans are ableists. We believe you should be able to do the job you are elected to do, which pin-headed lump-monger John Fetterman is manifestly unable to do. But sexist? In the words of Nigel Tufnel, what’s wrong with being sexy?

Highlighting the immutable characteristics of candidates is dumb, but that’s how the lib plays so let’s play too. GOP women beat their women, no question, no doubt.

Kari Lake is a superstar, and we will be seeing her again – likely either as a senator or on a presidential ticket. Poised and fearless, she hammers the press mercilessly by going right at Dem's throats, and she knows their weaknesses because she was part of their media for decades. Her courage terrifies the libs. The lib men especially hate it because she reinforces their inadequacy – they could never be as badass as she is, and for all their sissy sensitivity and proud rejection of toxic masculinity, these tiresome femboys understand that they are not, in fact, men, but neutered submissives, and they disgust themselves as much as they disgust us.

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Kari’s competitor is the quintessential Karen, the kind of governor who would spend four years telling Arizona to use its inside voice – especially since she would likely try to lock it down the next time there’s a cold going around. Katie Hobbs is the kind of “strong, fierce, powerful” woman most comfortable whining because of the oppression that occurs when someone points out her myriad failures. She cries out for a refill of her goblet of Trader Joe’s screw-top Chardonnay and you know she’s got a dog-eared copy of “Eat, Pray, Love” on her bookshelf right next to a picture of her cats.

That Hobbs will not debate is to be expected. She comes from a blue bubble world where no one ever disagrees with each other and she and her fellow pinko crones cackle in an orgy of agreement about everything. America is bad. Guns are bad. Testosterone is bad. Kari is strong, Hobbs is weak, and it’s going to get Darwinian.

Tudor Dixon is now a slight favorite to win in Michigan against the Stepford Governor. Gretchen Whitmer is the Tracy Flick of this cycle, a ruthless robot who is immune to any concern for the damage she does to everyone around her. She is the Ice Queen of the Lockdowns and an inveterate liar. One must acknowledge her ability to lie when she told the moms of Michigan whose kids were barred from school for two years that the lockdown lasted only three months yet kept a straight face throughout. But maybe it was just Botox. Whitmer is a bad person who dreams of a nanny-state dictatorship with herself in the starring role. If the people of Michigan reelect her, they deserve her.

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Christine Drazan may well save Oregon from more years of Democrat dominance. Her opponent Tina Kotek is straight out of Portland, an angry enabler of every criminal pathology you can think of and a few you hopefully can’t. She looks like Rachel Maddow if Rachel Maddow had tripped headfirst into a puddle of Clorox. The glasses, the short, severe hair – it’s like she got a makeover from a University of Oregon State Gender Studies seminar. She’s an out lesbian, but not the lipstick kind, and if you don’t run away she’ll tell you all about it. Christine Drazan is a mom and has a personal beef with Kotek – Kotek lied to her about a redistricting deal, and this election is payback. Oregon has a stark choice in 2022 – woke failure or pro-American success.

In Washington, Tiffany Smiley is running for Senate and it’s a longshot since Washington is full of Democrat nitwits. Patty Murray is her ancient opponent, one of those bitter older Dems who radiates cat-mom vibes. Murray is the woman who drives her Prius too slow in front of you, making you stare at her COEXIST and “Arms Are For Hugging” bumper sticker. Tiffany nursed her wounded warrior husband back to health after he was blinded overseas. She is relentlessly normal, and that’s the secret of all these women.

We don’t need malicious strivers, mousy managers, angry urban radicals, or elderly Marxists. We need normal people, happy people, people who are unafraid to stand up to the evils of CRT and trans idiocy. Each one of these women has taken hell for refusing to bless the slaughter of babies on the altar of Moloch. They are all normal people pushed to the brink by the forces of abnormality. They fight for kids and their country.

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Is it significant that they are women? Only in the sense that it is harder for them in some ways, with the regime media labeling them gender traitors for going against what the ruling caste has decreed women should believe. They are not running as women. They are running as Americans, Republican Americans, and that refusal to play the gender card itself owns the libs.

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