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The Real Insurrection Will Not Be Televised

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of
AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite

Well, the hyped-up September 18th rally for the January 6th political prisoners – and they are political prisoners – was a bigger bust than a Bulwark staffer’s wedding night, though with fewer tears. There was plenty of laughter though, especially at the hilariously inept G-Men mingling with the tiny crowd in their best “Hello, fellow insurrectionists" matching outfits of shades, big plastic watches, and jeans shorts with adorable cuffed legs. Whoever told these identically coiffed F-bois to dress like they were hitting up a Dave Matthews Band concert deserves a medal; you just look at them and know that half of them are named “Jason.” Or Tyler.

But even better than the Sore Thumb Squad was the guy in Antifa drag surrounded by tubby capital cops in their black stormtrooper get-up because someone saw the print of his piece. He flashed his badge and the platoon of doughnut junkies walked him off; you could read his disappointed at being unable to find a 79-point IQ moron to talk into kidnapping AOC or some similar nimrod conspiracy that the FBI could then trumpet as a big success following a week where one of Hillary’s lawyers got indicted for fooling them.

The political prisoner scandal of the January 6th defendants and their blatantly unequal treatment compared to the regime-friendly reprobates of Antifa and BLM is a national disgrace. FedFest 2021 is not a reflection on that just cause – every single one of those persecuted victims should be pardoned on day one by President DeSantis, right after he fires Chris Wray and every single four-star general. What the fizzled rally was, however, was a welcome change from the right’s habit of wandering serenely into the left’s kill zone and getting waxed instead of doing real damage to the garbage establishment. We saw the trap, and took a hard pass. They wanted us to show up, and they wanted chaos, and instead, they got humiliated. Glorious.

They hoped to televise the revolution so they could destroy it. The paltry platoon of protestors – again, most clearly feds – was outnumbered significantly by the drooling media hoping for carnage. MSNBCNN had to fill hours of airtime it was not devoting to them real crisis at the border, and they hopped on the fear-porn wagon, warning how this was gonna be the worstest insrureckshun ever was.

Instead, it looked like a second-tier frat’s Labor Day picnic at Gumbo State. Whatever the opposite of undercover is, they were. “Okay men, when we get there, remember that you like Trump and freedom. Who brought the snake flag? Jason? Great. And who brought the water bottles – gotta stay hydrated. You got that, Other Jason? Terrific. Let’s synchronize our oversized Seikos and go out there and save democracy!”

Imagine that you went through all that time and training to be an FBI Special Agent, thinking you would be busting commie spies and bank robbers, and your job became trying to talk in some guy with a Q tatt and MAGA hat into hucking a rock at a police car. Here’s how bad it is – noted gender non-binary crossdresser J. Edgar Hoover is no longer the most hilarious fashion fail in Bureau history.

We did not fall for it, because the revolution – really, the counter-revolution – will not be televised. And it will not be televised because it has nothing to do with putting on a horn hat and wandering through the Capitol. That stuff makes great TV, the kind that viewers of the lib media love to watch at they toobin to talk of democracy being in peril. But the real fight is not going to get coverage. Will the libs show their wine women viewers clips of an angry black father confronting a lily-white limo lib school board about how its disgraceful CRT fetish is telling his sons and daughters that they can’t succeed? Will they tell you the story of the life-long Democrat Latino – let me tell you as the husband of a Latina, do not go down the “Latinx” road – whose town is being overrun by illegals and who is now looking to Republicans for help?

The insurrection is invisible, at least to them.

Our fight is in school board meetings. Our fight is in local elections. Our fight was here in California, where Republicans actually came together and organized for once. We did not win that one, but we are in a better position to win the next one. They won’t see our real fight. The Capitol Hill mini-riot was a small group of extremely frustrated folks doing something we never do; it was unique and unprecedented. Well, we are now back to form, below the radar, working in our communities one board seat, one city council seat, one congressional seat, at a time. That’s how the Tea Party did it, and the bad guys never saw it coming back then either. It’s because they never thought to look. We barely exist to the establishment, except as scary boogeymen invoked to mobilize the sexually-repressed suburban women whose misdirected libidinal energy fuels the Democrat party.

The real insurrection is the mass of the iceberg that’s below the water. The real insurrection is the struggle to use the mechanisms of our republic to take back power. The real insurrection will not be televised, and the real insurrection will be successful.

The sixth Kelly Turnbull conservative action thriller, The Split, shows what happens when America splits into red and blue countries. Get all six bestsellers, including People's Republic, Indian Country, Wildfire, Collapse, and Crisis! My super-secret email address is


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