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Conservatives Need To Get It On

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of
AP Photo/Seth Wenig

Let me put this as William F. Buckley might have said it – as a patriotic conservative, it is your duty to call upon that booty.

Last week the census report came out and it is a lights n’ sirens red alert emergency –America’s population grew at the smallest rate since the Great Depression. Down this road to extinction just a few years ahead of us are the morally and culturally exhausted nations of Europe which have not seen their people hitting replacement rate in a generation. The problem is that Americans are not making babies, and we need to solve it. That’s where us conservatives getting it on comes in.


As conservatives, we need to make the having of children the center of our policies. This will make the country stronger, and it will make conservatism stronger as well. We’re still doing okay baby-wise, but our ghastly elite is kid-free. That’s fine – the fewer Kadens and Ashleighs the frigid woke wine women of suburbia punch out the better.

Of course, their answer is to import people from the Third World to act as their serfs, incidentally increasing their own political power at our expense. I like immigrants – I married one – but we’re not going to be America if we don’t make more Americans. And since our ruling caste thinks America is a terrible racist hellhole of racism, and recoils at the classic notion of a melting pot, an uncontrolled flood of immigrants who aren’t required to become Americans means America becomes something other than America. And we like America being American.

We do need some immigrants – ones with useful skills and a desire to be Americans – but what we conservatives must do is take up the slack. That means a dual-axis attack on the political and cultural trends leading us toward barrenness. Plus, more getting it on.

We need a change in mindset as a country that holds that family is key, and that the making of babies is the highest and most important purpose of families. We need to reject the neo-pagan nonsense of the weather cultists that reproduction is a crime against Gaia. We need to be firmly in favor of large and young families. And this will draw resistance from those who would prefer to kick up their heels instead of knocking boots and getting their breed on.


There are some obvious things we need to change, like the attitude toward abortion. There would be tens of millions more Americans if we had not greenlit the abomination of mass abortion a half century ago. Many of them would be people of color, who their sick abortionists particularly prey upon. We need to restrict this practice, and we need to stop subsidizing the abortion mills. Mostly, though, as a culture, we need to stop pretending that abortion is okay, that it’s no biggie, that it’s wonderful to shout one’s abortion. Let’s stop pretending that it’s fine.

And let’s help those who find themselves pregnant and scared. We need laws to fully inform women and to give them a cooling off period. But we also need to create a child-friendly culture. Step One is to celebrate motherhood. One part of this is to recognize that this is a unique role that only women can fill. No man ever has or ever will become pregnant – let’s reject the way the liberal elite devalue women by pretending that being a woman is as simple as changing your name from “Ken” to “Kendra.”

And we need to stop the bizarre cultural messaging to women that they have no value if they are not cogs in the corporate machine. Too many women wait too long to have babies, delaying children – the most important thing they will ever do – for years to pursue their careers. According to actual science, there’s this thing called the biological clock, and it doesn’t care if you think its sexist. We need to orient our young people to marrying younger. I waited until 38 because it never occurred to me not to. I was lucky and it worked out for me, but it does not work out for society. We need to get the message out – don’t wait until everything hurts when you get up to get going on a family. My parents were 26 when they got married in the early Sixties, and they were always among the older parents at Back-to-School night in the Seventies.


We need to reduce this extended adolescence that has young people in their twenties frittering away their prime on juvenile and transitory antics. And so, we come to men. Boys, you are lagging. With their video games, dope, and easy access to computer onanism aids, far too many males refuse to become men. That’s a cultural battle, and we need to fight it in our churches, in Congress, and in the media to the extent we’re allowed to express the radical thought that maybe you shouldn’t be living on your bro’s couch at 30.

We need tax laws that charge the single and/or childless more (Augustus did this in Rome). We need bigger tax credits for kids, and school choice, and to eliminate rules that prevent employers from giving families flexibility on the job. We also need to reject anti-family garbage like “universal pre-school” – we should help families raise their own kids and not subsidize even more unionized weirdos who want to toss out Jack n’ Jill and start teaching Critical Race Theory to our four-year-olds.

Lots of factors delay marriage. A big one is the academia scam. Student loans destroy futures. Let’s stop subsidizing them and make them dischargeable in bankruptcy. Right now, we are paying for universities that are nothing more than petri dishes breeding political pathologies that infect our society. No more. End the student loan grift. Oh, and maybe seize the endowments to pay off the kids the colleges ripped off.


Now, let the whining begin…

What about the dreams of young women who yearn to spend their fertility window toiling to make hedge funders richer? Maybe we should start by being honest and leveling with them that’s a pretty lousy dream. Nobody is telling them they can’t sacrifice their future happiness on the altar of corporate profits, but – as a culture – we should be telling them that they shouldn’t.

What about the dreams of young men who want to dodge responsibility and wallow in childish mediocrity? What about them? Shape the hell up. Be a man. And yes, there are a number of unfair and obnoxious biases in the law about men regarding divorce. We can fix those, but males need to stop hiding behind such grievances in order to play with Star Wars action figures until they are 70.

What about people who can’t have children? That’s hard, and all of us know people in that situation and sympathize. How about we subsidize those heroes who adopt unwanted kids? How about we conservatives take seriously adoption over abortion by writing a check?

And finally, there is the objection that families and kids are not all sunshine and lollipops. True. There are people who have no business breeding. There are kids who are monsters, and parents too. But only a fool would argue that we should abandon something that is overwhelmingly good, something that has been the foundation of every great civilization, because sometimes it’s imperfect. Look at what our trash ruling caste proposes in its place – a freak show of chaos, misery, and decline. Pass.


This is up to us. Our opponents don’t even think this country is worth saving, so we can’t look to them to do it. We need to do it – literally. So, get to it, conservatives. Stick on some Al Green and make it happen. America’s future depends on you getting busy.

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