Opinion

Eat Popcorn As Democrats Eat Themselves

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Posted: Jul 15, 2019 12:01 AM
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Eat Popcorn As Democrats Eat Themselves

Source: AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais

The pain of your enemy should be your joy, and we conservatives are pegging the joymeter right about now watching the political sepsis that is CongressKid AOC and her merry band of idiots running rampant within the flabby body of the Democrat Party. There’s only one solution to the gangrene caused by her and that brother-marrying weirdo who cheers for the wrong side in Black Hawk Down and Ms. Palestine. You have to amputate. But the donkeys can’t do it. That would cripple or kill the patient. So, what to do about the infection ravaging their party? It’s quite the dilemma.

Quite the hilarious dilemma. Pass the Orville Redenbacher while we watch them cannibalize themselves in Donner Party 2: Election Boogaloo.

Oh Nancy Pelosi, you thought you could harness the eager energy of these Socialist Sisters of Mediocrity for your own purposes, but you didn’t quite understand the situation. For limo libs like you – literally, because you’re a zillionaire – all this “for the little guy” stuff was always just a pose and a cynical scam. You don’t believe it. You just exploit it because you figure that the shiftless saps and lay-about suckers are your constituency will like it, and they do. You talk a good game about helping and caring for the downtrodden, but if one of the local bums tried to use the sidewalk in your neighborhood as a john, you’d have the Scat Francisco PD all over him like Jerry Nadler on a doughnut.

You’ve gotten used to posing as the heroic rebel voice speaking out in a stirring defense of the status quo that made you rich n’ powerful. All the other Democrats used to feel the same way. You were all in on the scam. Wink, nod and back to business as usual. But these dummies, leveraging their youthful inexperience, actually believe the nonsense they spew – that you all spew – and they are now learning that you really don’t.

Uh oh.

And now you’re realizing that it’s not just Normals they want to cart off to the guillotine. You’re on the tumbrel manifest too, ready to be hauled down that bumpy path to a permanent haircut.

Then they’ll take over your party and you’ll be just one of many frowning liberal heads sitting in the basket.

Calling us Normal people racists and sexist and all those other -ists and -phobes was all good fun and good business for the Democrats up until now. It was nothing personal. We weren’t these horrible things, and Liberal, Inc., knew we weren’t these horrible things, but saying we were riled the rubes and churned the votes and so the libs did it. But the AOCretins actually believe this stuff. They hate America and Americans where the Democrat leadership merely holds America and Americans in contempt. They want to burn the whole house down, but the Democrat bigwigs live in that house.

And it’s delightful to watch.

We now have Stephen Hawking’s Protégé calling Nancy Pelosi a racist, which is just so perfect and so wonderful. We saw Joe Biden get the same treatment from Kamala “Not Mrs. Willie Brown” Harris, who is trying to balance being in on the grift enough to satisfy the liberal elite with being woke enough to appease the radicals. Nancy and Joe were quite flustered by these accusations. They just couldn’t understand it – why, bogus claims of racists were something you made about conservatives!

Apparently, they never read The Boy Who Cried Wolf, but then only hate criminals would do that, considering how the very title’s assumptions about the gender identity of the main character betrays its cis-het transphobic premise. Also, it’s wolfist.

Karma, baby. After decades of promiscuous epithets disrespecting Normal people, this development is some of the best schadenfreude ever.

And what’s especially glorious is how the Democrats are too far down the radical road to turn back. Being old and secure and satisfied to just keep milking the system makes you complacent. The Democrats desperately need the vitality of the young radicals these twits have brought along. The prog kooks will be the ones doing the heavy electoral lifting in 2020, like knocking on doors, stealing votes, and doing social media stuff with their Twitter machines. The Biden/Pelosi Axis of Elderly has no energy left to fight, especially when on the other side is the pumped-up Donald Trump and his militant populist base.

We Republicans had a similar revolt against our own ossified, out-of-touch garbage establishment, but the GOP rebels largely seized power. Oh, some of the shoddy remnants of Conservative, Inc., still linger on the fringes. Losers like Mitt Romney pose and preen and posture in the Senate. The cruise-shilling hacks still try to grift the suckers with promises of exciting Lido Deck panels moderated by Bill Kristol with topics like “Ten Fun New Unnecessary Wars for 2021” and “The Conservative Case for Repeating Whatever Liberal Talking Points Will Get Me More MSNBC Hits.”

But the Ahoy Division is out of power. The GOP had its revolution and our basket is full of empty heads. Remember Jeff Flake? How about Bob Corker? Please clap for unemployed nobody Jeb!

We saw that our conservative betters were conserving nothing – and not being better either. We threw them the hell out. The next generation of Democrats see that their crusty master caste is doing nothing but preserving its own power, and that the oldsters aren’t really down with the revolution. After all, a revolution tosses out the ruling class, and the Dino Dems are quite happy being the ruling class.

What to do? The problem Democrats made for themselves by trying to harness the power of hate-fueled idiocy for their own purposes is coming back to bite them right on the Ted Lieu. They’ll have to either amputate the radicals, which they can’t do and survive, or submit to the radicals, which they can’t do and survive. It seems the Democrats can’t live with them, and can’t live without them.

Too bad. We’re going to need more popcorn.

The Democrats of all stripes seem intent on creating the hellish nightmare I describe in my action-packed yet highly amusing novels about the United States’ split into red and blue countries, People's RepublicIndian Country and Wildfire. These quality tomes are hated by liberals and the sad Loser Boat crew from the failed Weekly Standard as “Appalling,” so you need no further validation.